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Shocked and feeling lost

Michelle303
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Hi. I was shocked when my sis in law advised me in December that she had breast cancer... she went for ct scan and started chemo on 27th December.  Had results 2 days ago, expecting good news. No, spread to spine, bones, liver.. stage 4 terminal.  Cannot get my head round it. Really upset and shocked. Can't tell her how long she has. She has 2 young children and I feel so helpless and sad... don't know what to do or say?

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    Hi Michelle, The best you can do is try and support her and everyone around her. Try to distract yourself by planning things to do, gestures, any ideas to make the end of her life as good as it can be. The grief is massive and unavoidable especially with kids in the equation but that's the nature of cancer. Often when a person has cancer the last few weeks of their life is talking about it and discussing it and the person I knew was completely sick of it. Obviously they need to talk about cancer and death but sometimes it can drown them. Help them find balance between being ready for the end and finding days where they're not even thinking about it. Hope this helps.
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    Hello, 

    I couldn't agree anymore than what JaredTheNomad has suggested. 

    It definitely is about helping your sister in law prepare for her final days but also to let her have a bit of normality left to perhaps try and enjoy some of those days too. It is helpful to know if there is anywhere she would like to go or things she would like to do so you can help her achieve this. Support her as best you can as it will very lonely and hard for her going through this. She may decide she would like to do a memory book, record some videos of herself to leave behind for her young children. I'm sure they would appreciate having memories of their mummy that they can always treasure. I can't say how long your sister in law has...she may have months or she may have a year or more. Its about helping her spend this time how she would like to. 

    Sometimes in these situations it is hard to know what to say. When my Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 incurable bowel cancer which had spread to his lungs and liver back in April 2015 I didn't know what to say to him. I just burst out crying and told him how sorry I was. Supporting that person by offering them help with things and just being a listening ear outweighs anything that could be said. 

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