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scared it's been left too long

16 May 2018 19:11

I notice a lump in my right breast 4 years ago and had it looked at by the dr who referred me and they did an ultrasound but no biosy. In between then and now I started to notice a dull ache in my shoulder and another lump under that lump but bigger. I was pregnant with my son and then my daughter so only noticed the lump now after my daughters birth and breasts have gone down. Iv been back to the Dr and im back in the breast clinic this following Tuesday but I'm an absolute mess. I also have my lymph nodes under my armpit have come up and have been there for the time I had the first lump but a other has come up right by it but smaller. I'm so scared it's been left for that long it's spread and I won't be around to watch my babies grow. I feel like I'm in a constant panic attack. I'm 29 and I know its more aggressive in younger people. I'm just so scared I don't know how to shift this feeling. I'm annoyed that the last time they put it down to me being pregnant and I didn't get it tested further. Any advice would be appreciated please 

Re: scared it's been left too long

16 May 2018 19:39 in response to Stel89

Hi there ... I can understand why you feel so scared ... All l can say is what happened to me ... my  first 4 call backs over the years were just lumpy boobs ... Then nearly 3years ago I felt a lump and l knew it was different ... To cut a long story short l just left it and was letting nature take it's course ... Because l got a chest infection that wouldn't go, they gave me a chest x Ray which picked up my breast cancer ... That was almost 2 years from me knowing it was there ... I got it tested and it was a grade 3 ...

I took a chance on a total masectomy ... That was a no brainier ... It turned out contained and lymph node clear ... Couldn't have chemo or radio as my bones are already weak, but have tamoxifen tablets form .. but against all odds 10 months later I'm still here , doing o.k and chatting to you ...

Every cancer is different, every patent is different ... Treatments are too ... Some people with grade 1 or 2 and pick it up quick don't always make it ... But some like me are beating the odds ... So just don't give up ... Those feelings are normal we all go through them ... But after you let it all out ... Get up, get a pair of boxing gloves on, get in the ring and look it in the eyes and get ready to trade blow for blow ... It may knock you down a couple of times but it's about getting back up and fighting in your courner ...

There's a lot of us breast ladies on here ... Hopefully they'll pop by ..., @Cornishpastie ‍ is younger and she's not long had her op ... But she's great at chatting and helping others your age ... 

So hold on in there ... You can do this ... Chrissie x

Re: scared it's been left too long

16 May 2018 20:09 in response to Chriss

Thank you so much for your reply. Sometimes I think I have a grip and then my arm start to ache and tingle and I go back into Complete panic mode. Did you have anything else other then a lump that suggested something dodgy? It's the aching and tingling that's freaking me out X

Re: scared it's been left too long

16 May 2018 21:09 in response to Stel89

Hi ... in the last couple of months my nipple started to invert ... and when I held that arm up it looked dimpled and different ... but please don't panic... there's a lot of breast ladies on here, and they are all doing well ... hopefully some will pop by soon ... so hold on there , and although it feels scary, it is doable ... and you need to see what the results are ... 

So hold on and know it's normal to feel like that ... always here Chrissy x

Re: scared it's been left too long

16 May 2018 21:52 in response to Stel89

Hello there. I’m another breast cancer lass although i had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy. 

This is the scary bit, the not knowing. You don’t really know anything yet so there’s nothing you can focus in on, even when the tests start, ultrasound, biopsies etc you may still have a little longer to wait for the results. 

Once you’ve got your results, if they are clear, great. If not, it’s amazing how quickly you can focus in on getting the little ******* called cancer out of your body and into a sample tray. 

So for now, breath. Concentrate on your little ones and try and live in the moment as much as you can. 

Re: scared it's been left too long

17 May 2018 10:04 in response to rileyroo

Wow! This is so true .. Ive had a mri and ultra sound scan on a lump that is 5cm long 1.5cm upwards im awaitig my results on 21st this monday literally the not knowing is the most scaryest part. I keep saying im ready for whats coming and ready for my fight but the hanging in the balance bit i cant handle i have 4 very young children ypungest being 5 months as u can imagine looking at my children sets me off. But i get a stabbing pain from my rib to my back where my lump is it panicked me a few weeks ago but now i just get on with it and just concentrate on everything we normaly wpuld wprry about like homelife not health . ithink thats the best way to deal with it and not think too much into it as mine was mainly just thinking about death . best way of looking at things is literally we have so much support out there and our babys need us to be strong so deep breaths hun xx

Re: scared it's been left too long

17 May 2018 10:08 in response to CharlotteG

Just remember, age is most definitely on your side and not all breast lumps are cancerous, cysts are quite common too!

Re: scared it's been left too long

17 May 2018 10:25 in response to Stel89

Hi Stel89. It's just not right that anyone should have to deal with the possibility or reality of this horrible disease, let alone when You are still in your 20's. I'm 48 and still feel young at heart with too much to want to do before I leave this planet. That said I'm not going anywhere as with Chrissie, Riley and the other breast cancer ladies on here, I found my battle mode and have been kicking it's butt since. 

As others have said.. It's the waiting to know that is the worst. Somehow once you know, even if it's bad news, you can at least move forward. Right now you are in limbo. We have an amazing group of breast cancer survivors on here and some like @Beachbabe ‍ who got told her lump was benign yesterday....we all had a cheer for her ❤

Take one day at a time, try to keep yourself busy (and try to find the fun and laughter.....not easy I know). As one lady here always says...cancer wants you to fall apart emotionally and you just have yo get your boxing gloves on. I did and you can too if you need to. Hopefully you won't have to and your results will be clear. Statistics are defo on your side. We are all here if you need and want us to get you through this step and beyond if need be. X

Re: scared it's been left too long

17 May 2018 10:47 in response to Cornishpastie

Well said Cornish, we might have cancer but it ****** doesn’t have us!

Re: scared it's been left too long

17 May 2018 11:00 in response to rileyroo

Absolutely Riley ❤

Re: scared it's been left too long

17 May 2018 11:24 in response to Cornishpastie

Hi you are not alone, we are here to help you and know exactly how you are feeling as we have/are felt the same. Waiting for results is something you can’t explain to anyone who hasn’t been through it. Sadly we all have but together we got through it. Take deep breaths, as Cornish said try and have so fun it’s hard but it is also a release. Talk about other things check out The good and the bad thread on here, there we talk about everything from the c word to toy boys and cake! It’s like an extended family but a family who knows exactly how your feeling!  Sending you a big hug 

Julie x 

Re: scared it's been left too long

17 May 2018 14:40 in response to CharlotteG

I'm the same u have 4 babies 11 7 18month and 3 months and I csnt even hold my baby without getting upset and thinking about leaving them. I can honestly say iv never felt so scared in all my life! I hope you get good results Monday please let me know hownit goes xx

Re: scared it's been left too long

17 May 2018 14:41 in response to Beachbabe

Thank you so much for replying I feel like a right whimp atm x

Re: scared it's been left too long

17 May 2018 14:42 in response to Cornishpastie

Thank you its amazing how strong you ladies all are. I'm in a constant panic attack over it xx

Re: scared it's been left too long

17 May 2018 14:58 in response to Stel89

You’re no whimp! This stuff messes with your head.