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Scared

14 May 2018 19:11

hi all, 

my mum has just told me she found a lump in her breast and has been referred to a clinic at our local hospital after going to her doctor on Friday , I’m scared as to what is going to happen the likely hood of it being cancer and would it be treatable - how likely is it to have already spread to bones etc - could it be a cyst, I’m just sooo worried and uniformed and she doesn’t want to discuss it with me and says she’s not concerned at this stage but I’m so scared. 

Re: Scared

15 May 2018 16:35 in response to Ao1

Hello Ao1 and thanks for posting,    

These things are always worrying but it is important not to jump ahead and anticipate what might be the matter. There are other reasons for breast lumps so something else could easily be the matter. If your mum should need treatment for breast cancer, bear in mind that it has been well researched and is very successful a lot of the time.

It sounds like your mum is trying not let this panic her which I think is a good idea, for now she has nothing to tell you and probably doesn't want to talk about 'ifs and maybes'. Only the breast clinic can say what is the matter and in the meantime the best thing to do is to try and hold your nerve and stay calm. I know this can be hard to do. 

Or course it is bound to be a bit scary and it is easy to fret, but it doesn't help. Most people say it helps to stay busy and distract yourself . Going online tends to make us more worried and keeps everything front of mind. So try and take it one step at a time. 

Take care,  

Julia

Re: Scared

15 May 2018 19:25 in response to CRUK Nurse Julia

Thankyou im just looking for reassurance I think as I’ve seen two of my best friends lose a parent and I don’t want that - we have no history within our family on my mums side so would this give a better chance of it being a benign, or a cyst I just feel that because she said it’s painless, she’s 46 and it’s happend all of a sudden that it’s the worst case scenario 

Re: Scared

16 May 2018 16:34 in response to Ao1

Hello Ao1,

Women can develop breast cancer with or without having a family history, so this doesn't really have a bearing on what could be the matter. But at 46, but your mum is youngish and breast cancer is usually more common in older woman. 

In truth, there isn't much to be gained by mulling everything over. Try and think about this as a health scare. It may go nowhere, but if it it does turn out to be breast cancer, treatment will be available. I'm afraid in this sort of situation, no one can ever tell you in all honesty that everything will always be alright, but it often is. 

Look after yourself and try and work out a strategy to help you cope until you know more. 

Take care, 

Julia

Re: Scared

18 May 2018 01:08 in response to CRUK Nurse Julia

Thankyou for your advice this waiting game is driving me insane I can’t eat or sleep I’m having panic attack’s I feel so guilty cause it’s my mum that has got to have all this done but I can’t stop thinking the worst I know you shouldn’t but I e got that gut wrenching feeling we’ve had such a terrible 2018 so far that I don’t know I’m just so scared I don’t understand how a lump can just appear what if it’s been there for ages and now it’s spread etc 

Re: Scared

18 May 2018 08:15 in response to Ao1

Hi I know it is a worrying time, I have just been through it! But I am glad to say Mine was benign no cancer. I am 49 and found a lump in my left breast. Went to GP who referred me to hospital with an “urgent” referral this is normal and usually you are seen with  in 2 weeks. So don’t panic if your mum gets her appointment through quick. I was seen in just over a week. I had a mammogram ultrasound scan and two biopsies taken they found another lump behind the one I had found. I got the results the next week which were inconclusive. Boarder line turning cancer so it was decided to take out the lumps and tissue round them (margins). This was done within 2 weeks although given a 4 week window. I was in as a day case. Then two weeks later got the results benign. I froze when the doctor told me so he repeated it again. Your mum will be on what is called an emotional rollercoaster where she will be up and down. It is a worrying time but try and stay positive it does really help. Talking to ladies on here will help you as we have been through it were other website haven’t. Try not to do to much research as this plays on your mind. I went in expecting to be told cancer needing more treatment instead it wasn’t but they will be keeping a close eye on me. Fingers crossed your mum will get good news. We are all here for you x 

Re: Scared

18 May 2018 09:37 in response to Beachbabe

Thankyou so much I’m so glad you got good final outcome I think it’s more not knowing that’s getting to me she says it’s routine and everyone’s saying don’t worry till you know but it’s difficult . I’m hoping for the best. Thankyou for taking the time to reply and so glad your okay x

Re: Scared

18 May 2018 10:16 in response to Ao1

Thank you, the waiting is the worse part totally agree. You can do this we are all here to support you x

Re: Scared

18 May 2018 11:07 in response to Beachbabe

I’m hoping for the best got everything crossed we have no history etc and she’s healthy just would be the biggest blow she’s my bestfriend don’t knkw what I’d do if/ without her  but Thankyou for your advice and help x 

Re: Scared

18 May 2018 11:16 in response to Ao1

Think positively sending you a hug x 

Re: Scared

18 May 2018 11:17 in response to Ao1

Hello again Ao1,

Panic attacks are horrible, I wanted you to know about the NHS website's tips to help you cope with them here. These are on their moodzone which might be worth looking at too.  

Try not to think ahead and assume anything for the moment. It can sometimes help to try and remind yourself of things to counter the worrying thoughts, for example lumps aren't always cancer and breast caner can be successfully treated. Try and stay busy to distract yourself as much as you can. Exercise can help too.  

I hope you find a way of coping and start to feel a bit more settled, 

Best wishes, 

Julia   

Re: Scared

18 May 2018 16:15 in response to CRUK Nurse Julia

Thankyou ! Its just this waiting that’s awful and having no re assurance

Re: Scared

18 May 2018 20:23 in response to CRUK Nurse Julia

I have one question, my mum has said her lump is not painful does this mean it’s cancer or more likely to be cancer as even the NHS website says if they had firm hard and painless it’s more than likely cancer ....