Hi Limesbabe

I think everyone who has or has had cancer can understand your feelings.

Me I used to swing from they made a mistake, to ok I'm going to beat this, to making my will and what music I want at my funeral.

Sometimes when you bottle everything up and are trying to stay stong and posative the lows come at you like a sunami and threaten to overpower and engulf you.  Crazy thing for me that actually took my mind of was deciding who I was going to leave what to  - not the big things the little things like who would want my handbags, costume jewellery or soft toy collection.

Bad news (in my experience) is you wont be less emotional when your treatment starts but you will handle it better and being on the treadmill of treatments and hospital visits actually does bring a sense of comfort as in something is being done.

The best advice I can give you is take care of yourself, talk to people and dont shut your family or friends out.

River

Hi

thank you for reply, so glad I'm not on my own.

feel better today, probably because I  am working a 12 hour dayshift so I will be occupied, then Birthday celebration when get home with my daughter. So today will a positive day I hope and hopefully this week I will hear from the hospital as I think that maybe getting me down to. 

Love and hugs xxx