Hi ya ...

Well you sound like we all were early on ... it's really normal to think like that ... please don't Google .. it's the worse case sinarios .... and all them "what ifs" it's like being stuck in a whirlwind and can't get out ..

Now saying all that .. and I really do know, as I even wrote my letters to loved ones .. planned my funeral ..  l was sure I was on the way out. . My son panicked too, calling me 5 times a day .. where I was lucky to get one a month .. my granddaughter who was 5 at the time asked me if I was gonna die .. 

Then one day my daughter in law sat us down and said no more panicking...no more "what ifs" well take each problem as and when it comes up ... and we'll do it together .... that was the best advice I ever got .. we all stopped panicking.  And yes they where with me every step of the way ... so l got my self a pair of vertual boxing gloves. . Put them on .. got in this cancer boxing ring and looked cancer right in the eye .. I was ready for the fight of my life ... and when l looked round there were loads of us in there .. all doing what they had to to kick cancers ***. . So when your ready .. get them emotions out .. get your boxing gloves on and join us ...

I have a grade 3 her 2 neg oestrogen positive lump ... a total right boob masectomy in July 2017 ... and nearly two years later , my letters to loved ones and my funeral plans are put away somewhere safe .. hopefully for a good while yet ...  theres lots of us on here .. all different stages and treatments ... new and old .. and cancer doesn't want us to stand to gether and be strong... it wants us to lay down and never look up .. it wants us weak ... but it's got another thing comming ... 

Sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie xx

Thank you. I think I got my head round having breast cancer as in I can fight this but the thought it has spread is something I can’t get round. It’s not been confirmed either way but yet but that’s what I’m struggling with. I don’t understand why it’s taking so long to do the  investigation. Why when had scan on breasts and my lymph nodes were enlarged who only biopsy on breast and not on lymph nodes too. Week wait for another biopsy. Am I a lost cause so there is no urgency to remove the cancer because there is no hope. I can send myself foo pally with all these questions haha get through the next few days and hopefully hear wed the results x thanks for taking time out to reply xx glad you haven’t had to get out the letters to your loved ones xx 

Hi doctors don't rush about. On 22 Feb 2016 specialist found my cancer. I had bone scan 21 Mar. Mri 30mar. Ct scan 5th May started kemo 2 nd June. Nearly 5 months from finding C to start of treatment. Not bad what do you think.

Billy 

Oh my days that seems such a long time. Go I know there is nothing that can be done but wait. Hope your treatment goes well 

Hi

I too was diagnosed just 3 weeks ago today after a 6 week period waiting for referral appointments and the biopsy results. The waiting is so hard. Each day long and exhausting from the worry. Really know how your feeling. X 

Had MRI last week and a CT scan due this week to check no spread. My results/planning appointment on 29th April so another long week at work trying to be normal. 

Keeping busy has helped and having company otherwise I tend to overthink it all if left to my own devices. 

Was told mastectomy at diagnosis at my cancer is 55mm. I have pain in my rib at the back and sharp pain in my lung when taking a deep breath. These, like you,  are worrying me greatly. Fingers crossed we both get better news than our fears xxx

Hi sorry to hear your diagnosis and fully understand the waiting and the worrying. I go Wednesday for results about if in my lymph nodes then I guess I’ll need a mri scan to determine if spread. Already in my mind I have stage four. They haven’t told me size just that’s it large. What determines large? I have oestrogen positive but her2 negative.?no info given but google doesn’t help much either. 

Please try not to worry  as I’m told cancer wants us weaknand we need to remain positive  to fight this horrible disease. Please let me know how you get on on 29th and I’ll update you after mine Wednesday x take care x 

Hi mejulies

Just wanted to say I was in your position 6 months ago. I have 2 children aged 10 and 12. I was diagnosed with a 5.5cm lobular cancer, grade 2. When I had the original mammogram and ultrasound my lymph nodes were also enlarged. I also had biopsies on these and because of the look of them on the ultrasound I also had a CT scan and Bone Scan to check for any spread. All the scans actually came back clear including the lymph node biopsies. In those 2 weeks of waiting for results I'd convinced myself I was stage 4, imagining all sorts of aches and pains.Try not to jump ahead of yourself and take one day at a time.

i finished up with a mastectomy (chose not to have reconstruction for the time being), 3 weeks of radiotherapy and tamoxifen. It all went by in a bit of blur. From diagnosis to finishing treatment was about four and half months. You'll find once treatment plan is in place it will mentally get easier for you.

6 months down the line it's not the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning.

take care x

This has just made me feel abit more hopeful. I just rethink everything that wasn’t said when I had the lymph scan/biopsy. I was looking for reassurance but didn’t get anything and I get they can’t tell me but I was crying saying I worry it’s stage four and nothing back from the doctor. Then I think back to being told I had gradevteo and they wanted to know what happened when I had my last mammogram 8 months ago at a different hospital as they think it was hiding under the cysts. I think you are right once I know stage etc and if it’s spread to other organs then I know what I’m facing. I could kick myself for not going sooner as I just thought it was another cyst. I haven’t told the children as I don’t know what I’m facing so how can I give them answers but if I’m honest I’m just delaying it in the hope it’s not as bad as I fear x thanks for taking time out to try and reassure me. I hope you are recovering well x 

Hi 

ok great. Good luck on Wednesday X

Ahh bless you. I fully understand where you are coming from with wanting the reasurrance from the medical staff. I was told as soon as they'd done the mammogram and ultrasound that they believed they were looking at breast cancer. I assumed I'd have to wait for the results. I remember saying it must be really bad if they can tell it's cancer without even getting the biopsy results. There's not really a lot they can tell you about spread and stage etc before all the exploratory stuff has been done, but the chances of being stage 4 at diagnosis is 5%, so a very slim possibility so try and not worry, easier said than done I know. Mentally it's all very tough at first. I found living in the moment and taking pleasure from little things in the day helped me cope. I also kept reminding myself that 1 in 8 women get this disease so it's very common.

As for telling the children, I think everyone has their own way. Mine came sooner than expected. When I went to pick them up from a friends house after the initial mammogram and ultrasound,the first thing they wanted to know was why I'd been so long at the hospital (originally told them I was having some routine womans test). I just told them mums got a lump and shes probably going to have to have an operation to remove it. The first thing my 10 year old said was "is it cancer?". I just said "they're not 100% sure, but they think it might be. But the doctor has said its treatable and all should be fine". I also told them Mums very lucky to live in a time when this can be treated. Apart from a few tears from my 12 year old the next day they coped remarkably well. Yours will too I'm sure.