Wide awake thinking of possible timelines ...on watch and wait for non hodgekin lymphoma...and I know every cancer is different but how long do I realistically have to live? Internet says 5-7 years but then can be ten plus ...confusing !! Trying to live in the present but my own mortality is a big question I am unable to ignore !
I'm also on a watchful waiting regime and have gone way past my best by date. Realistically I have no idea how long I have either and have given up trying to find out as the answer is always either "it depends£ or "no-one knows".
I cope by not looking too far forward or planning for anything too far in the future. I'm not sure whether this is superstition (not wanting to junx things) or simply logical. For me anything over three months away seems too far ahead to be realistic.
The anti-anxiety drugs help keep the edge off too - anything that helps is welcome
I hope you find a way to live with this.
Many thanks for your kind and helpful post ... It's tough trying to explain the 'cancer cloud' that is my constant companion...your right about living in the moment.I try and manage this most of the time, it frustrates that those around me don't want to ask,am sure they don't know what to say ,but I feel isolated and left to get on with it !xx
Ten years ago I had tongue and throat cancer. The surgeon said 'yes its cancer, you have six months'
He went on to say that I had a fifty/fifty chance of another five years with a six hour Op.
I would be unable to eat or drink or talk. or I could go home with a lot of morphine.
I chose the Op. and had 42 rad sessions and 6 chemo. It took a fair while to get over it.
I never thought of how long have I got, but just got on with enjoying the moment. I have been
very lucky. If you can adopt this approach then at least you will enjoy more the time you
have. Be it short or long. I was 71 at the time so perhaps it is easier when you are old.
I exercise regularly and keep pretty fit. This probably helps.
I wish you well!
Many thanks Colin ...yes I am trying not to focus on what might be ...even started swimming three times a week and I hate swimming What a journey you have had and good luck too ...distraction seems to be the key.