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Please Help

30 Nov 2017 11:15

I'm not sure where to turn or what to do so any help would be much appreciated.    My husband has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and only has a few weeks left.    He accepted his diagnosis quite quickly while I on the other hand fell apart.    It's been 3 weeks since the diagnosis and his feelings are changing, especially at night time.    We've been up the past 2 nights as he's had what he can describe as weird sensations in and around his stomach, kidney, liver area.   I think he's scared, I know I am.   I don't know what to do or what to say to him.  I sat up with  and held his hand but I feel useless I just dont know what to do. 

Re: Please Help

30 Nov 2017 13:58 in response to Margin

Margin, It has been awhile since I posted anything but your situation resonates with me. My husband passed away in 2015 from Pancreatic cancer. We managed 1 year from diagnosis so apparently we were one of the lucky ones. My husband went through the same feelings at the end as yours is now. We had hospice helping so if this is available in your area I would suggest it. They were wonderful and the Doctor came to the house whenever the nurses called. The Doctor talked to my husband and answered any questions he had regarding all and any concerns. I believe what was happening was he was transitioning and his body was slowly shutting down. He was agitated so we were prescribed medication for this which helped to keep him calm. He passed away at home and it was calm and peaceful and we managed to keep him pain free at the end. I am not sure if this helps but I would suggest contacting hospice if possible.

Thinking of you take care, Cindy

Re: Please Help

6 Dec 2017 03:13 in response to chitch

Dear Chitch thank you for your reply.  My husband is going downhill quicker than we thought.  He is having terrible pains in his legs now and im so worried its gone into his bones.  He can hardly walk.   The doctor came today and took bloods so hopefully we will find out tomorrow.   I hate to ask but did your husband have any symptoms like this.    I am struggling so much but im trying not to show it so i dont upset my hubby but im failing miserably.  X

Re: Please Help

6 Dec 2017 18:34 in response to Margin

Hi Margin, I would not beat yourself up about showing your emotions in front of your husband. My husband and I spent many hours talking and me more than him crying. But we both understood that there was nothing that he could do to prevent what was ultimately his death and me losing him. And there was absolutely nothing he could do for me in the aftermath. It was something I would be dealing with on my own. He did encourage me to talk to family or someone that could help but I never did. Maybe one day. As for the leg pains, no my husband never complained specifically about his legs hurting. In the end he was literally skin and bones and I recall he was in a lot of pain all over even to the point of me being able to only give him a single kiss at a time. Once we got his pain under controll he was mostly in bed sleeping until he passed away. I would ask the Doctor about his pain medication. Take care and I will be thinking of you. Cindy

Re: Please Help

10 Dec 2017 21:49 in response to chitch
Hi Cindy thank you for messaging me again. He is in bed now and he has the driver in but he is scared I know he is he wakes up suddenly and has the look of sheer terror on his face. He told me to get the doctor this afternoon to end it. The nurse was in a wee while ago to give him break through she says that the meds is his driver will need to be increased. I hope you are coping ok. I lost my first husband to cancer when he was young and time is a great healer but it's still hard I think you learn to cope . Thank you for taking the time to message me . Take care. Gina xx