Hello, I hope u don’t mind me asking, but I’m eager to know.. my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 inoperable pancreas cancer that has spread to her liver and walls of her stomach, they offered her chemo saying only a handful of years if it all goes well. She hasn’t eaten for months prior to the diagnosis - our GP said ‘u have an infection in ur body but we just don’t know where, I’ve referred u to a specialist’ we were waiting weeks until I forced her to go to the hospital, they did their scans - found the mass and called her in the following week to confirm it was cancer. For about a week after her diagnosis she was going really well drinking her energy drinks for strength but her mouth was starting to blister up and her tongue was red raw, so she physically couldn’t drink those anymore, we went for our first chemo talk on Wednesday but she is too weak to start It, they said it’s thrush of the mouth, and given her meds to clear it and steroids to increase her appetite hopefully to build her strength ready to go back in two weeks to start chemo, she still isn’t eating and like u say cancer is ugly to see it eating away at them, did ur husband start chemo immediately? Was he bein sick all the time unable to hold down food, I just feel like we haven’t had the best start to the chemo process and it’s hard to keep up hope, like yourself I can’t cry in front of her I have to be strong.. I just hope she’s not giving up.. she’s had 3 heart attacks and survived and now this is killing her.. she’s only 64 and I’ve just turned 30 and an only child it’s horrible seeing both my parents go through this
i wish I had better outlook to offer. My husband started Chemo immediately but we also ran into complications. After his first round of chemo he was hospitalized with blood clots. Yes we were given meds and steroids but they didn't help. The thing is no one talks a lot about pancreatic cancer and I really wish when my husband was diagnosed I had someone who had been through it to talk to.
my husband also developed thrush which was one of the many challenges no one told me might happen. We only finished two rounds of chemo before my husband passed. We encountered thrush, blood clots which I ended up having to give him daily shots for, and finally diabetes. These can all occur in Pancreatic cancer patients.
I want to be honest with you. I understand you can't cry in front of her because I couldn't do that with my husband either. The fact that someone has given hope of years with chemo is surprising to me. However only God knows when it's our time. My husband had been strong never sick a day in his life until his stomach and back started hurting. With pancreatic cancer no one that I've spoken to had a good start with chemo. It sounds like your mother is a wonderful and tough woman trying to fight this ugly thing that is running through her body. She is not giving up it's the cancer. We need the pancreatic Cancer is the resin she can't eat or
just tell her everyday you love her don't try to force food or water on her. Just put it within reach. Make her as comfortable as possible and if she seems really ill one day don't call your family physician call the oncologist and insist you bring her to his office to see her even if she sneezes or gets really disoriented and is not herself insist the oncologist see's her. Demand it or just show up at his office if you have to. I carried my husband in on several different occasions until the oncologist knew we had done everything. Even if she doesn't finish a round of chemo if she seems different and needs a doctor make sure the oncologist is the doctor that's called. An oncologist is the only doctor that is not going to stop fighting until it's time an ER or family doctor is gonna just push more meds an oncologist is gonna order all the right tests.
i had seven months it wasn't enough time but in the end I know I did everything I could to make my husband comfortable and let him know when he was ready to go I would be ok. It was important for him to know hear me say that.
if you have more questions or need someone who understands or if you encounter anything your not sure of I'm here.
my name is Darlynn and even when a doctor explains something to you it helps to repeat to someone else to help you get a fresh perspective on it. Just know your mother is not giving up. She is doing her best.