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Not coping. ....

12 Jan 2018 14:55

My dad was diagnosed 7 weeks ago with terminal cancer and moved to a hospice last week. 6 weeks ago our little boy came to live with us (adoption).

I'm finding it so hard to cope with the above but my dad's second wife is also now arguing over money and the will.

My dad doesn't have long left and I just want him to have some peace.

I have a wonderful husband but he has to work full time and we have no other family or friends close by to help. I feel like everything is out of control (or maybe that's just me feeling out of control!!)

Re: Not coping. ....

12 Jan 2018 17:25 in response to MrsPW

So sorry you have all this on your plate.  If your father's second wife is giving you grief (you realise I know nothing of the details) I would be inclined to just refuse to engage on this subject.  I cannot imagine what she wants you to do about it but the priority at the moment should be easing your father's final time with his family, making it loving and comfortable for him.    Not the time for haranguing you about this.

I am so pleased you have completed the adoption and understand it is difficult welcoming your son into his new family and getting him settled in under these circumstances and you don't have time or energy to get involved in hassles over money at this time.  I was once involved in a similar situation and know how manipulative people can be.  But leave that for now.  Concentrate on the important things in your life and take care of your dad and yourself.

Re: Not coping. ....

12 Jan 2018 20:15 in response to Annieliz
Thank you for your words and giving me some strength back!! It all feels very confusing and lonely at the moment. Think I need to have my own tantrum to say money issues have a time and place....and this isn't now. Overall I just feel incredibly sad......

Re: Not coping. ....

12 Jan 2018 20:39 in response to MrsPW

Here .. here !!!   When my mum died all I needed was the ring I brought her with my 1st wages and she never took it off ... and best of all, all the memories she gave me that would last a life time ...

I agree with all annieliz has said ... you'll have time to sort that out later ... I know I've made all my plans ready for my son, when I leave this life ... trust me, we nearly all want our kids to have something ... I'm sure later you could both find middle ground ... but for now , make the most of your dad , and have a lovely time, with the new member to your family ... he / she will need lots of attention and you can make some lovely memories with both ... don't let her get you down ... but try to keep communication open ... 

Thinking of you ... Chrissie x