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New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 07:17

Hi everyone,

I can't believe I'm here on this chat, diagnosed last week with metaplastic triple negative breast cancer from biopsy. Due in for wide excision next week and absolutely terrified of what the future holds.  I feel as if I'm walking around in a nightmare! I have barely been able to eat and today, after work, I'm going to have to tell my 13 year old daughter. Im so angry that this is going to destroy her relatively worry free life. I guess I'm looking for someone else in a similar situation for any support. I'm spiralling into panic and depression.x

 

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 07:55 in response to DJ43

Hello love,

im sorry you find yourself here but you're in the right place. The beginning is very scary indeed! I promise you will settle once you get going with treatment. The fact your having surgery first indicates the lump is pretty small? You will relieved once the gremlin has gone...

There are loads of us bc lasses on here, you're certainly not alone.....you'll get emotional support here.....xx

 

@Chriss ‍ 

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 08:09 in response to Marlyn

Thanks,

Yes it's 2.5cm so that's good I suppose. It's the type that scares me, apparently rare, less than 1% and aggressive. I can't get my head round it, the anxiety is making me I'll, I've lost 4lbs since  Sunday. I'm usually a strong person but this has floored me. I really hope I get my fight back after surgery coz they told me probably chemo then radio.

 

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 09:50 in response to DJ43

I know love, getting a cancer diagnosis is overwhelming and surreal....I had surgery first too...then chemo...then rads....I was triple positive.....

we get hooked in to the worse case outcomes ( it's hard not to) but there are also tons of good outcomes....look up Victoria Derbyshire on YouTube, I'm sure she was tnbc...her blog is inspiring, also carol magiffin ( loose women) I think she was too.....there are positive outcomes.....

 

your in that dark place right right now and it's overpowering......but you will get through it....I promise ❤️❤️❤️

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 09:53 in response to DJ43

Hi there ...

Now deep breaths ... we all know how scary this journey is .. and I spent two days locked away from everyone , crying,  cussing and got every emotion out .. you have to get it out before you can be fine to fight .. 

I realised I could stay in that room forever and just cry and rant , or I could come out fighting .. so I got a pair of pink vertual boxing gloves and and stepped in that ring and looked the cancer in the eye .. I'd either knock it out , or go down fighting .. coz cancer wants you to lay down and never get up... it wants us all weak .. and lots of us on here, really stood up to cancer like the saying goes ..

The meaning of Being brave ... is being scared witless but you do it any way ..  wer all scared whitless at times ... your not alone ..

There was about 6 others joined the same time as me, all with breast cancer,  different grades and all different treatments ...  but we held each other up .. and if you ever see a thread called "the good and bad" it's the journey we all took .. many joined along the way .. and it tells the highs and lows of our journies .. but we got there .. that was over two years ago, and we havnt lost one yet .. now they only write on the tread occaisionaly as they've gone back to their new "normal" life post cancer .. and one of them has a new baby boy after her treatment ... our little mirical .. 

Now remember , none of us cancer or healthy knows if we have tomorrow... anyone could be taken in the wink of an eye ..  we all live under the shadow of cancer .. and we all have weak days .. @Marlyn can tell you that .. but even through her treatment she was on here helping others ..

Now I had a grade three breast cancer... her2 neg oestrogen positive lump... I had a total right masectomy in July 2017 .. now I have a scar where my boob used to be .. but you know , I look at that every day, and it tells me a story... of my journey .. one I thought I'd be lucky to get weeks .. to be with my little granddaughter,  in pic .. wrote my letters to loved ones and even chose songs for my funeral .. 

But here I am writting to you, and I'm sure , taking it on made a difference .. this isn't about winning or loosing, it's about feeling emotions, admitting your scared ... then back with the boxing gloves ...

I think gentle honesty with your child, has been really good for me and my grandkids and my amazing nieces ... they saw me strong and it helped them .. you don't need lots of detail .. just honest answers .. like when my granddaughter asked me befor my op .. nanny are you going to die... I held her, and said the Drs were going to do everything to make me better .. but if not I'd be the little star next to the bright one as that's my mum's... looking down on her every night .. she's been amazing and she was 6 then ..

But kids of all ages can cope better then we give them credit for .. if wer gentle and look strong .. but it's o.k to tell them your scared too .. and together you'll walk side by side ...

Well I hope I've not put you to sleep. It's turned into a little book .. ; )) 

But wer both here for you .. one step at a time .. sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 10:24 in response to DJ43

Hi there

I was recently diagnosed myself ( the end of September)

I am also  triple negative . My lump was bigger than yours and I am currently going through chemotherapy prior to having a masectomy once the lump has shrunk.

I felt just as you did at diagnosis. I was devastated and could not eat.

Once I had been given a treatment plan by my oncologist   I at least had some idea of what future treatments would hold. The very worst part for me so far was right after diagnosis. Now I have started treatment things are a little easier.

I started 3 weekly chemo on the 10th October . Although the side effects can be brutal, my experience was not as bad as expected. I have had very few side effects. I am coming up to the half way point og my chemo regime on the 21st.

i also decided to use the cold cap which has meant I have maintained my hair so far. (It is not for everyone)

I have a real life friend who is coming up to 3 years clear .

It is entirely normal to feel as you are. I felt the exact same way too . 

Thinking of you and if you have any further questions please ask away xxx

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 12:58 in response to DJ43

Hi there, I was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer.which was tripple negative and grade 3.im only 35.so when I found out.like yourself I couldn't eat sleep and was always crying.but as time goes on I have to be strong for my toddler and hubby. I will have to have chemo radiotherapy and herceptin.herception is a years treatment.im not looking forward to it.but glad I went to doctors when I did.sometimes you need to cry, theres nothing wrong with that x

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 13:09 in response to Chriss

Thank you Chrissy,

I'm so glad your wee group have all recovered and back to their normal lives. I really hope in a years time I'm saying the same thing. Starting to turn a corner today. Eating lunch now which is a first this week!  Haven't quite got to grips with this chat thing yet so I hope my replies are coming through properly.xx

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 13:16 in response to Tay54

Hi, 

Thanks so much for your reply, it's good to know people are out there. I really hope you continue to cope well with chemo and they get you sorted!! 

I suppose it's times like this we find out how strong we can be. Just such a psychological battle at first though isn't it? I just need to keep my fingers crossed for a good outcome next week and that they can get it all out. Xxx

 

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 13:18 in response to Mandy-k

Hello, Mandy, I'm really interested in why your having herceptin for tnbc, I'm triple positive and have just finished my course of herceptin, I just wanted to say it's a walk in the park, the side effects I had from herceptin was dry itchy eyes....good luck with the rest of your treatment.....you can do this love ❤️

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 13:21 in response to Mandy-k

Hi,

It's thinking of the kids that gets me. I think if it was just me I wouldn't be quite so worried. I'm 43 and just hate the thought of their lives going off track because of my disease. My oldest is at uni really needs to have his head in the game. 

I'm glad to hear you managed to find the fight and I wish you the absolute very best of luck with treatment. Hopefully we'll be putting it all behind us very soon.xxx

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 13:24 in response to Marlyn

Hi Maryln, I was Her2 positive so they said I will benefit from that.im not looking forward to the chemo either.did you have herceptin injected?

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 13:27 in response to DJ43

Thank you.ts the kids that make us strong. I dont think I would have coped if I never had my little girl. But good luck with all your treatments to x

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 13:32 in response to Mandy-k

Hello again,

sorry, I thought you were tnbc, unless you were both? Blimey, that would be unlucky! 

I had surgery first, then chemo, then rads and herceptin was started towards the end of rads....yes, by injection....every 3 weeks...in the thigh. The first one was a faff as you have to stay in for a few hours in case of a reaction, of course, I sat in me chair expecting to have the worse reaction they had ever witnessed! But I'm relieved to say I was ok...then the second one they like to keep you for just a couple of hours, then after that it's stab and go......

will you be on fec chemo? When do you start? X

New breast cancer diagnosis

8 Nov 2019 13:36 in response to Marlyn

Hiya, I was told I was tripple negative and grade3. Yes i have to have the 3 treatments.not sure on what type of chemo I will need.

Nit sure I will cope.after you see your oncologist,when do you start chemo?