My mums battle

My mum was first diagnosed in July 2015 with triple negative breast cancer she had chemo a lumpectomy & a lymph node clearance on her right breast & radiotherapy but unfortunately in March of last year (17) she woke with a sharp pain in her right shoulder that had us back & forth to the breast care team, her Gp & lymphodema Nurse.

She has biopsies, a ct scan & a bone scan but nothing was detected & it was put down to muscle pain she eventually got an ultrasound scan done on her arm (it was extremely swollen & had been for many months by now) on the 4th of July (17) and was sent straight to a hospital in Glasgow to see a vascular surgeon as she had an established blood clot she was prescribed apixaban (blood thinners) & was sent on her way but the vascular surgeon wanted to see her two wks later, we went to that appointment by this point my mum was in a stooped position & sweating profusely so the surgeon recommended Pregablin so away we went again, he requested to see us again on 24/8/17 at this appointment my mum was in agony & myself & my younger sister were in tears as she was a shell of her former self, thankfully the amazing surgeon recommended my Mum be admitted to his ward on the 28/8/17 he decided to carry out an MRI scan as that was the only one our Mum hadn’t had & sadly on the 3/9/17 it was discovered that the cancer had reoccurred and the tumour was on my mums nerves so we were sent from there to another hospital & my mum was started on Palliative Chemotherapy Paclataxil but fast forward till today 27/2/18 the chemo didn’t work & we have basically been told my mum has merely weeks left & we as family are inconsolable & heartbroken our wonderful recently turned 60 beautiful mother/wife/gran is going to leave us & leave a huge void in all our lives & I am struggling to cope & I feel like she has been failed massively & my faith in the NHS has gone!

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    Oh Mois,

    This is so sad. The best thing that you can do for your mum is to show a positive/can do attitude with her. You can let the tears flow, as these are a good stress reliever.

    Instead of dwelling on the bigger picture, where it might take you and how you’ll cope, try to put a more positive vibe on things. Just look at the situation day-by-day or even hour-by-hour if need be. Try your best to make memories with your mum, is there anyone or any place that she would like to visit, are all her effects in order, hold her hand, tell her how much you love her, support her according to her immediate needs and just be there for her.

    Many people feel frustrated by how little they can do at this stage, but just by being there for her, you are reassuring her of your support. I can understand your upset at recent news and then discovering that chemo didn’t work for her. In one way, you are already starting the grieving process.

    My thoughts and prayers are with your mum plus extended family.

    Please let us know how things go for you all,

    We are always here if you want to talk.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx