My mum passed away

A little over 12 months ago i lost my mum. She wasnt just my mum she was my best friend and my rock. The one person in the world i trusted complely. I got through the first few weeks focusing on my son who was 1 at the time because mum loved him more than she loved me and thats what she would have wanted me to do. A few months later i had a breakdown and ended up sobbing for hours on end every day, couldnt function and hated life. A friend persuaded me to go to the doctors who put me on tablets which started to work, i stayed on them for months but eventually i couldnt cope with the side effects. I came off them and was ok .. .but then the 1 year anniversary of mums death came around and here i am a sobbing mess, cant function am no use at all to my bf or son- they shouldnt have to look after me. I just want to run away all the time, i dont sleep but have got very good at putting a brave face on at work/with friends. 

Please tell me this gets easier at some point?? 

Thanks for listening xx