Jess, 

I don't have much to offer but I just wanted to check in and say that I'm so sorry that this is happening to you and your family, I hope that your mother finds a way to come to terms with her condition so she may enjoy, as best she can, what time she has left. I also hope that you find the support and comfort you need during this difficult time. 

Olivia, x. 

Hello, Jess, how very sad for you to suddenly have to come to terms with your mum's diagnosis.   Can you speak to your dad and brother and try , as a family, to talk to your mum.  You sound such a sensible girl, but I think if your mum has held back from speaking to you for six months, you may have a bit of a struggle.  Have you thought of speaking to a counsellor yourself - Macmillan.or your GP should be able to help. In the meantime, try to talk to your mum, if she sees you are there for her perhaps she may realise talking can help.

Wishing you my very best wishes, Jess, and please come back and talk to us, we are all going through a terrible time and need the help of each other. x

Hi Jess

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. Someone I love has also been told they  have 3 - 6 months and I'm finding it hard too. I don't know what to say to them to make it easier because there are no answers. I can, however, tell you that the most important people in a mother's life are her children. I have three children, so I know. You are so young, Jess, to be going through this alone. Please try to speak to your mum and tell her how you are feeling. If you can't, then tell your dad or find an adult you respect or/and trust. That could be an aunty, teacher or friend. I think Jess, your mum is very blessed having a lovely, caring daughter like you.

Hi Jess, I'm so sorry to hear that your Mom has cancer that will likely take her life. There are no magic words to say that would make this all go away, but I wish there were. I can't add much more than people have already responded to your post, except to say that I am so impressed with you being so wise and mature, yet struggling with such a life shattering experience. I don't know how old you are but I'm guessing maybe 15 or 16 yrs.old. What a heavy burden for you to be carrying by yourself and such an important time in your life. I know your Mom doesn't want to talk to anyone about her illness, but do you think she would object to you speaking with a trusted family member, friend, or perhaps your school counsellor? You really do need to confide in someone and since your parents are unable to help you right now, I think its' important to seek out someone for support for yourself.

I know that people here on the forum are very caring and supportive and I'm so glad that you found us, but I don't really think its' enough to meet your needs right now. Please let your Mom and Dad know how hard this is for you and tell them you would like to get some help for yourself. I would guess that your brother too, would need to speak with someone.

For sure, come on here to the forum anytime and offload some of the burden you're carrying. At least it is some place to put that, until you get help in person where you are. All of us on here are dealing with cancer in one way or another; either we have it ourselves, or we're caring for someone with it. And for us, this forum has been a Godsend, but most of us also have family and friends that we're also able to talk to. Besides which, we're adults and can usually find help when and where we need it. You are a young person at a time in your life where you should be carefree and enjoying life with your friends, but because of this terrible disease, your life has been turned upside down. Sometimes life is so unfair.

You take care of yourself.

Sending you hugs.

Lorraine 

Hi Jess

I have just caught  up with your thread and its so very sad that at just fifteen you are facing  losing your dear Mum to cancer.  It is a very hard time for you and the family and you have done so well in writing your story here. My children were older when their Dad was diagnosed and the initial shock/fear/hopelessness we all felt was so hard to comprehend. It is possible that your Mum will eventually be able to talk with you and your brother but as a Mum myself I suspect she feels she is protecting you (its what Mum's do) by keeping  it bottled up.  My husband did not like to talk as it made it too emotional for him to deal with.  That's what led me to this forum where you can express yourself and others here will understand and keep you company along the journey if you wish to continue to share and seek advice.

You can also ring the nurses on the phone number on this page Mon to Fri 9-5 if you would like to chat to someone. I thought I would mention too that there is another forum, called Rip Rap, which is very much aimed at young people/teenagers whose parents have been diagnosed and where you can talk to those of similar age to yourself.

Sending a virtual hug and hope you can find someone to openly talk to (your school can help support you if they know what is happening at home so maybe a private chat with  your form tutor might help day to day).  Jules54

Jess,

I was very sorry to read your story. Hiding away from the World is not going to do your Mum or your family any good and will separate you from the support network that would normally be helping your family through these difficult times. 

Now that you are aware of your Mum's condition, you and your brother need to discuss with your Dad how best to deal with this situation. 

I can understand from personal experience how difficult it is to tell people that you have cancer and the fear of being pitied by others but somehow you need to open up and let your family and friends help you out. Your Mum may not feel she needs any help but the rest of your family certainly will. 

MacMillan are there for you as much as for your Mum, maybe you could ask for their advice and support? They must have faced a similar situation before and may be able to offer some practical advice.

Either way - thanks for sharing your story with us and please keep in touch.

Best wishes
Dave