Since the start of the year things at home have been different, Dad has been working from home, Mum stopped her part-time job. She was always the one to drive my brother and I to school early in the mornings, and to various after school activites, but now that was Dad's job. Things were, and are, different, and I could tell my mum was sad and helpless and lost. I had my suspicions but could never bring myself to talk to her.
Just yesterday my Mum told my brother and I that she has cancer and that she hasn't got long to live. She described it as being trapped in her body, and that broke my heart. She didn't go into much detail about her treatments or what type of cancer or anything. She was just crying and shaking, saying how unfair life was and that she wanted to grow old and that she's going to miss out on my brother and I as we grow up. I'm fifteen, and my Mum is only 45.
As a practical person, I've been telling her that life is unfair but I want her to be happy with us in the time she is with us. I feel like she should make the most of her life now, not just for us but for herself. I'm not going to pretend to know how difficult it must be for her, but all I want for her now is to enjoy life. She doesn't deserve to be sad.
She hasn't told anyone either. Since the start of the year, we haven't been to Church. Mum hasn't seen any of her friends. Our home phone is unplugged, mum hasn't been on Facebook and her phone will go straight to voice mail. SHe told us dad took her to see a councillor but it wasn't working so she's stopped. She's totally locked herself away from the world. I've been telling her she needs to talk to someone, and that she needs to tell a friend. My Dad is a quiet kind of guy and he isn't really the emotional type so I fear he has been bottling up his sadness too.
My mum is scared and I really don't know what to do. She hasn't told us much about what stage her cancer is at or her diagnosis, but the way she talks it seems like she doesn't have long.
I'm scared for what's to come. I don't know how to tell my friends. I don't think I've quite grasped it either. At school today my friends were laughing, and I laughed with them too, but they don't know and I wish I could tell someone who would understand. I'm frightened and so sad for my mum, and I just wish things didn't have to be the way they are.