Together we will beat cancer


my mum died Sunday

7 Nov 2017 15:34

not posted before but looking for help please. my mum died on Sunday she had battled cancer for 3 years and Sunday it all happened it was over. I can't cope I can't function I feel like I want to die too but I have two small children of my own. I spent most days with my mum going to the park or Costa or few shops watching a movie every day it was me my mum and my children. the loss is too much to bare. 

Re: my mum died Sunday

7 Nov 2017 21:57 in response to Allthestars

Hi there, so so sorry on your mum passing ... I lost my mum and she was my buddy too, like your mum... I had 2boys and they adored her ... it really hits home when the word never see her again sinks in ... I felt totally lost until I realised if she could see me suffering, she would be heartbroken... she loved it when she saw us laughing... she went suddenly with a heart attach... so we’d talk about her, we’d have a few tears ... my 7 year old said he wanted to go to heaven to be with her ... but I filled them with good memories... we’d remember all the loving things she’d done and how much she loved them ... 27 years on they still put pictures of them on face book as babies and her holding them with a smile that lit a room up ... 

we were blessed to have wonderful mums... so many will never know what that’s like ... it will take time .. you never stop missing them ... they stay in our hearts forever.... but slowly we get used to not having them around ... though I like to think they look over us ... sending you a big hug ... Chrisie ❤️ X

Re: my mum died Sunday

7 Nov 2017 22:03 in response to Allthestars

Welcome to the forum Allthestars although I'm sorry to read about the sad circumstances under which you are posting and on behalf of the moderation team I would like to offer you our sincerest condoldences on your mum's passing.

I know you're hurting right now but I just want you to know you are not alone. Many members here know how you are feeling having lost their parents to cancer and I'm sure some of them will post soon to offer their support and share their experiences with you. 

If you feel like things are getting really tough do consider contacting Cruse. They are a bereavement service that offers support to those who have lost someone close and may be able to help you through this difficult time.

Keep chatting to us on the forum Allthestars and remember that we are always here when you need us.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Re: my mum died Sunday

8 Nov 2017 00:05 in response to Allthestars
Evenino, I know exactly how you feel. I lost my Mam 3 weeks last Sunday and devastated is an understatement. Mam initaly had breast CA, then liver CA. 6 weeks ago got diagnosed with brain mets after a nasty fit. Whilst the hospital were amazing I quit my job to come home and help look after Mam. Over the last six weeks I watched her become an old frail lady. Whilst she enjoyed her daily trip out to costa and an ice cream on the beech, she knew. We sat and planned the funeral (which killed me!) and talked about what to do afterwards (I’m the youngest of 3 children this isn’t/shouldn’t be my conversation) we promised Mam we would get her home which we did and she died 4 days later with us all around her. Whilst this was the worst feeling/experience in my life (medical professional who deals with death daily) it wasn’t easy at all. So 3 weeks down the line, Mam has a grace that is full of flowers, still visit her daily, and whilst it still seems raw, the waves don’t become easier they become bearable and you can see them coming. Everyone tells you it gets easier over time, I hope it does currently I’m feeling that you learn to deal with it day by day, step by step. Thoughts go out to you at this horrible time. More improtoantly don’t go quiet or think as you mention above as what your feeling now would you wish your children to feel this (trust me I wouldn’t)

Re: my mum died Sunday

13 Jan 2018 00:32 in response to Allthestars
Hello, I’m so sorry you’ve lost your dear mum. My heart goes out to you. How are you coping now? Like you, I lost my mum to cancer. We found out in Nov 2016 that she had breast mets in her lungs, liver and brain. She died 11 December 2017. Although I knew she was terminally ill, nothing can prepare you for the total devastation you feel when it happens. It’s one of the hardest things we will ever have to deal with. I, too, feel utterly wretched and I can’t bear the thought of having to learn to live without my wee mum. However, what I’ve seen from this site is that so many people lose their loved ones to this vile disease and somehow, they manage to come through the loss. Even though it’s so difficult to imagine that I will too, I cling to the knowledge this terrible pain, hurt and sadness will one day soften and I’ll find a way, like all of those others, to navigate through it. I’m sure you will too. It also helps me to remind myself that I’m feeling this much pain because I loved her so much and was so lucky to have her as my mum. I know she’d understand why I’m feeling so sad but that she wouldn’t want me to stay this way. She would want me to remember her with love in my heart and go on to lead a happy and fulfilling life. I talk to her all day long and imagine her talking back to me. This helps a little too. I hope you’ve managed to find a way to cope and send you much love x