I lost my mum 2 months ago to cancer.
she was first diagnosed in 2019 before Christmas it was a difficult time and I we went through her journey together I attended all of her appointments, chemo, radiotherapy and any doctor appointments. Me and here were very close in September 2020 she got the all clear things were going great until 2 months later she started getting very sick, her back was extremely sore we kept going to the doctors every week trying to figure out what's wrong until we went private and they told us to get an MRI scan and we did, later on we found out my mum had stage 4 cancer it has spread to 7 different parts of her body. It was so difficult but because I was so close to her I tired to avoid showing to much emotions I never really cried much infront of her because I didn't want her to feel more upset than she was. Eventually my mum got really sick one day and I told her we need to go hospital and we did , little did I know this was the last week I've ever had with her, she got so bad she couldn't talk or communicate much it was so so hard to see her this way and eventually she passed she was only 42 and I'm only 20and I sit and wonder how is this life so cruel . I barely cry I feel so numb, it's like my mind won't let me process it I want to grief and I just can't I feel fine and majority of the time when I think about anyrhing sad I shut it off , how can I let this sink in ? I want to feel emotions and I can't