My dad. Prostate cancer,

I just wanted to update the forum about my dads prostate cancer. He is 81 and diagnosed two years now. It is CRPC. Following unsuccessful hormone therapy, he the went for radium 223 injections, but only able for four out of six as the effected his bone marrow and the haemoglobin dropped to 8.7 . 

Then he started falling and loosing power in his legs. He was admitted to hospital where it was discovered he has spinal cord compression in several places. So radiothapy beams are being done now for five days. Apparently spinal cord compression is treated as a medical emergency. He is loosing heart, and full of morphine and starting to give up. 

The hospice doctor wanted him to have this treatment. But he said it may not prolong life. It's so hard and so sad. He's slowly going downhill and crys a lot. There is a very real fear of the Unknown, facing death and not being able to escape. So I will update the form in a few days when we see if the spinal cord compression is relieved.

thank you

  • Hi pudsey2tails, thank you for coming back on the forum to update us on your dad's progress. I'm so sorry to hear how hard it's been for him recently. Please do let us know how the treatment has been going if you get the chance, and how he's holding up. 

    Thinking of you both, 

    Helen

    Cancer Chat Moderator

    PS: we have some information on our website about talking about cancer and coping emotionally, which I'm including links to, in case they're of some help. 

  • Hello again, well I just wanted to update again. He has had five lots of external radiation therapy, and is a lot better mobility wise. He has physiotherapists teaching him leg strengthening exercises and is up and about with a walking frame. There is a very real danger if he falls of a fracture which would be disastrous. And he is only allowed to go home if he agrees to sleep downstairs, which he is not happy about but will do anything to get home. The consultant told him this evening that the radiotherapy should relieve the pain for three months, not much consolations  I know but that's it.

    The haemoglobin has climbed back to over 10 by itself without any blood transfusion. 

    He is apparently not having more zometa, as the side effects would out weigh the benefits.!!!

    he has a three hour journey in an ambulance tomorrow, and still has a syringe driver attached to him for all his meds. Then he has to come off the steroids and reduce the morphine, so we will have to wait and see what happens next. 

    I am trying to keep his spirits up and support him emotionally. It's not over yet and all is not lost, we are all just hanging in there. I now know how precious life is and how important it is to be supportive , strong and especially of all kind.  Kindness is so important. Because sometimes it's all we have left, and it comes for free. Sometimes doctors forget this. They get caught up in their own importance. Patients are real people with real fears and worries.

    will be back in touch when he gets transferred to give update on rehabilitation.

    thanks xx

  • Hello it's me again, still going on about my dad. 

    He was transferred last night by ambulance from one hospital to another. A three hour journey, however the ambulance broke down and he had a wait of an hour and a half at the side of the road.

    unbelieveable. He got to his bed at 2 am. Today he got discharged home. I took the half day from work. Asked the nurse in charge to remove the syringe driver. Secured a wheelchair at reception. Dressed him, actually pulled a tracksuit bottom on over pyjamas and drove him home. After the radiotherapy he was as week as could be. What a fortnight. Anyway now apparently the steroids have to be tapered off. But he is still better now than before the radiotherapy. 

    This is a tough journey for patients and family. He is expected to have severe fatigue for two weeks following radiotherapy. He is finding it hard to swallow. His tastebuds have changed. He is fed up with tablets and medication. But he can walk again, and the spinal cord compression is gone. So thank you to the medical people.

    as my Dali lama poster says keep trying no matter how hard it seems.

    kind regards

  • Hi Pudsey, 

    I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your dad when he was being transferred from one hospital to another. I'm glad he's o.k now and back in the comfort of his own home.

    It's great that he is able to walk again and the spinal cord compression has gone since having the radiotherapy and I hope the fatigue he is expected to experience within the next two weeks is manageable for you both.

    Keep posting when you can Pudsey and remember that we'll always be here for you when times get tough.

    Best wishes to you both, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hello again, 

    Just a little update on my dad. It's been twelve days now since he got out of hospital. The fatigue is lessened now. He did have quite a bit of discomfort in his throat, which I think was caused by the radiotherapy. His has no pain in his back or hips at all. His targin (painkiller) has been reduced from 40mg twice daily to 20mg twice daily. Steroids are being tapered off. His balance however is not good, and is very slow on his feet. 

    He fell in the bathroom on Sunday and luckily I was there to lift him up. I pulled my own back trying to get him up! I looked up on utube how to lift someone up and now know the sensible approach.

    he has a walking frame but tends to use a stick. He still goes upstairs at six o clock to bed at night with my mother behind him. 

    I soak his feet for him in a basin of warm water and then rub foot cream and lavender oil on his calves. I hope it's ok to do that. I put a dab of lavender oil on his temples to help relax him and was shocked to feel how sunken his temples had got.

    His bowel has a mind of its own and he doesn't always make it in time to the bathroom. He depends totally on my mother for everything. 

    Things have settled down for now and the hospice nurse is brilliant, full of support and reassurance.

    Kind regards

  • Hi pudsey2tails, just a little note to check in and see how you and your dad are getting on? Feel free to post here if you feel able to. 

    Wishing you all the best,

    Helen 

  • Thanks Helen, 

    well he's still hanging in there. I go to see him every second day. Sometimes conversation is at a standstill. He wanted his hair washed on Saturday, so I sat him on a high stool at the kitchen sink and washed it with baby shampoo and towel dried it afterwards. He felt better for it. 

    He is very slow on his feet, but still moves about nevertheless. The television is on but he refers to it as moving wallpaper as it's always turned down. It's hard to be positive in such a negative situation. I nearly feel guilty for having my life when he is going to loose his. 

    The sun is shining outside and all my work colleagues are talking about holidays and joking and just getting on with life. I was meant to go and visit him this evening but my mother said they were okay, that I would be need much more later on. 

    Anyway that's enough about me. Will be back on soon when I get my chin up a bit. 

    Kind regards. 

    Xx

  • Well it's me again,

    he is in the hospice since Thursday, his liver and kidneys are failing.

    He is confused and makes no sense at all.

    He has a catheter in and a syringe driver for his meds again.

    he got badly dehydrated today and started shouting, so I pushed the water into him and he calmed down. No one gave him any water. I don't know how long he has got left but I'd say a few days.

    i feel so helpless and sad. 

  • My mother is planning his funeral already.

    My older sister is an alcoholic and staggers in and out of the hospice to see him. 

    My brother lives in the uk and come home last Friday to see him, he couldn't cope with the situation so left again today to fly back. He says he will come home again after he dies!!!!!

    I am the youngest (50) and work near the hospice so I can see him regularly. 

    My mother wants me to stay the night with her before the funeral, but I want to sleep in my own bed. She  was so annoyed with me she said as far as she was concerned she had no family. And when this is all over she will sell up and get as far away from me as possible!!!!!!!

    i have been with both my parents every step of the journey through his illness. I have supported, cleaned, cooked, washed, lifted my dad when he fell down. I have sat for hours by his bedside and nursed him when he was at Home.

    She makes me feel worthless, like my life doesn't matter. I am fifty and work full time. I have haemochromatosis, and have regular veinesections. 

    I love her unconditionally but am being emotionally bullied by her and have been all my life.

    I can't quarrel with her as she is soon to be widowed, but can't take much more her manipulation.

    sorry for the rant but it helps to write it down

  • Hi pudsey2tails,

    I just wanted to stop by and thank you for updating us on how everything is going for you and your family.

    But please, don't ever feel sorry for ranting here! I'm glad to hear that writing helps you a bit, so do carry on posting as much as you want and whenever you feel like it might help you to get through this incredibly difficult moment.

    Warm wishes,

    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator