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My dad has just been told he has up to 3 months to live

24 Aug 2019 23:59

hi 

my dad who was diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm over 3 years ago was told back then he had 1 year to 18 months to live, as I say this was 3 years ago and since then he’s been strong and determined, over the past 6 months he rapidly lost weight and was admitted to hospital saying he was struggling to breath and just the other day we were told by the doctors that he has stage 4 lung cancer that has also spread to most of his other organs too, we were both really shocked with this news, they have told him that they are going to put him into a nursing home too, when I visited him today he was speaking but I couldn’t understand him as he was mumbling words and got very angry with me, is there a phsychological process you go through after  being told such awful news? Ie like the stages of grief anger, sadness acceptance? As the first day he went into hospital he seemed much stronger but now he seems to have deteriorated in a matter of days, ie can’t breath 

My dad has just been told he has up to 3 months to live

26 Aug 2019 21:06 in response to Swmakeup

Hello Swmakeup

Welcome to the forum and I'm very sorry to hear about the news that your Dad was given recently. 

There is no right or wrong way to react when a doctor tells you that you have cancer is too advanced to cure. Everyone responds in their own way and of course your Dad has had this kind of conversation previously and yet he exceeded the expectations of those Dr's now to be told this news. Feeling angry and frustrated at the situation he is in is very understandable. 

I hope that the process of Dad moving from the hospital into a home goes smoothly and that he's able to settle. No doubt the coming weeks will be a rollercoaster of emotions for you both. If you'd like to talk to someone about things please do give our team of nurses a call. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. You're also very welcome to continue posting here on the forum and we'll do our best to support you. 

Sending best wishes to you both, 

Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator