Together we will beat cancer


My dad has cancer

22 Jan 2018 18:13

hi my dad was diagnosed on the 7 jan with lung cancer we had no signs of he was ill. He was very confused and looked poorly we rang an ambulance after scans they found a 9.8cm mass on his left lung. Consulatant came and told us it had spread to brain, rib cage, liver and pancreas and has a d fect on bladder which I’m not sure what that is. We’re looking after dad at home and his chest sounds rattly and he’s looking yellow. Mcmallian are involved now and my dad can’t be offered any treatment. Could you tell me how long my dad has left to live with us I’m heartbroken. He’s lost so much weight he isn’t eating only has forti sip drinks. He is in no pain and still walking to toilet and to bedroom but really worn out 

Re: My dad has cancer

22 Jan 2018 19:21 in response to Notreadytolosemydad

Hi there ... so sorry your dads going through this horrible journey, cancer puts us on ...

I'm afraid, no one will be able to give you a deffinate date, even the qualified Drs are very worry about it, because some hold on longer, some go sooner ...but his Dr may be able to give you a rough idea .. there is a stream on here, that may make it more clearer, and what to expect... but l know the nurses on here say, it can make a hard read ...

Hopefully " ask the nurses "  will pick this up, and give you more info ..

All I'd say, is make the most of every day, there maybe things he needs to talk about, which again may be hard to hear, but say all that's in your hearts ... it's o.k to admit you feel scared ... you will probably be very emotional now, and l wish there was an easier way through ... but it's a path, lots of us have walked with our parents ... my mum left with heart attack... never had the chance to tell her just how proud l was to have had her for my mum ... sending you a big virtual hug ... Chrissie ❤❤

Re: My dad has cancer

24 Jan 2018 11:03 in response to Notreadytolosemydad


I am so sorry to be reading this about your poor Dad. 

It is so hard, I went through this last year with my Dad so I sympathise grately. 

You mentioned your father sounds rattly? I would assume this sound is what is called the death rattle. My dad started with a rattly noise one night and my mum assumed it was a chest infection. Following day he still had it and about an hour before I arrived at their house it had gotten worse. When I walked in it was extremely loud. Sounds like a rattling gurgling sound. When this happens death usually occurs within 24 hours. A nurse came and administered morphine and something else which quietened the noise. My dad passed away a few hours later. 

However this rattly sound may not be that at all. I would if you haven't already contacted his nurses or local hospice team so they can check him over and advise you if they think the end is near or not. You need support right now. 

Big hugs to you 

Re: My dad has cancer

28 Jan 2018 09:06 in response to Notreadytolosemydad

Hi it's very hard I know. I'm from New Zealand and Dad has terminal cancer which he is living with with great dignity and courage. My Mum is amazing as my Brother and I live in Europe. Sadly my wonderful Mother in Law passed away just before Christmas with pancreatic cancer after just 5 weeks and my lovely sister in law has been diagnosed with esophogeal cancer and is very poorly. I feel like my family are being taken over by this awful disease. The one thing I want to share is please talk to your loved ones. it's such a shock when it happens and everyone tries to be so brave and not say the wrong thing that we end up saying nothing. My Dad and I talk all the time, cry, laugh and talk about a load of rubbish but it so important. My Mother in Law had everything she wanted for her farewell and it made it so much easier than second guessing. Its very difficult to accept that sometimes there is nothing that can be done, to be honest I was so angry, but every day is a blessing. My love and thoughts are with everyone who are going through this xxxxx


Re: My dad has cancer

5 Feb 2018 04:09 in response to Notreadytolosemydad

Hi I am Terminally ill with Bowel Cancer and currently having my 9th Folfox treatment in a cycle of 12. I was originally diagnosed in August 2017 after having been rushed into A& E with a major blockage and my bodyshutting down. I was transfered to Oncology after finding the blockage was a huge tumour Cancer Tumour in my bowel next to the spleen. I commenced treatment in September having been advised that without treatment I may not survive longer than early December. I lost 25 kilos in weight whilst I was in hospital 48 days recovering from the operation but with the excellent nursing, physio and aftercare from the NHS I am now gaining small amount of weight. At first and even now things which I loved to eat I cannot face any longer or due to the dietary restrictions must not eat including drinks of tea, coffee and bovril. I now only drink Sparkling Water. It is very hard to find any food which I enjoy but it is essential to eat fresh nourishing food to give the body strength. I like your Dad get really worn out and have been recommended to listen to what my body tells me to do like having a nap mid-morning and late afternoon if necessary and getting out of the house however painful to have a change of scenery atleast once per day being driven by my wife to the shops or parek or local beauty spot. I also have to contend with a Stoma Bag emptying it about six times per day and actualy changing it every other day or sooner which does become very tiresome particularly when you are going out. i suffer very badly from Neuropathy and need lots of help with allthe daily functions like cleaning teeth, washing, dressing moving around the house both upstairs and down, getting to and from the car as well as getting in and out of same. I go through some good and some terrible days and some where I just want to give up but with a wonderful supportive close family I try and fight on. I am delighted you are looking after your Dad at home as I am sure like me that is where he wants to be. Pleased be strong as that is very important to your Dad and talk with him as much as you can good communication is very important. My Eldest son lives and works in the USA with his wife and family but everyday contacts me by text early morning (9.00am UK time but only 4.00am USA EC Time) my other two sons and our daughter make contact regularly or call round . All local shop owners, super market cashiers, and staff keep in touch or ask my wife if they do not see me for a day or two and enquire about how things are going. I am amazed how many male/female young or old ask about me and this gives me the reason to fight on against this horrible condition. I hope your Dad continues to fight on and keep active this is very important. Please keep in touch