My brave mum

My mum has breast cancer last year and then now has lung cancer not related both 1st cancers But her lung was stage 4 I feel was missed I don’t get it I’m lost she was given 6 months in April and refused chemo and we’re now at the stage she has become very weak she was eating less but her appetite has picked up she can’t walk around as becomes so out of breath I’m so sad and feel I’m already grieving I’ve already lost my mum but I keep panicking of how long I have left with her how I help her what do I do after she’s gone am I doing things right I keep finding myself getting annoyed with everyone even my mum because I’m so angry that she’s dying I keep thinking why are you leaving me I try and cry when I’m alone so my kids don’t see I’m scared to be the one in charge like my mum is the grown up even though I’m a fully grown adult just feel very lost 

  • Hi there ...

    Bless you, this is one of the hardest times you'll ever go through ... and you know as someone who's grade 3 breast cancer makes us know how precious time is ... and since I found out, now don't look too far ahead ... and live in the day, every day .. being told about 6 months, makes it seem like a ticking bomb ... and that's why they give rough time .. I've seen people go far quicker, and others are still here way down the line .. so try to forget TIME ..

    Live in the now ... she's here today .. don't think about the future without her, that can be delt with then .. don't be so brave .. your not super woman .. just a daughter and a mum doing her best .. and you know it's o.k to tell your mum your scared .. she can then admit she is too ... and showing feelings to your kids and SHARING tears, shows them it's o.k to be upset and cry .. it's part of teaching them, you all can do this together .. walk down this path together , all holding hands ...

    And the anger your feeling is what a lot feel , it's being mad at cancer, not your mum .. it's being mad at life and what it brings .. I lost my mum in my 30s and lost my wonderfull mum when I knew others with mum's that didn't care like mum .. but what you do now, you will always look back on .. so do what I'd want my son to do for me.. just be there .. hold my hand .. and walk by my side .. 

    So be kind to your heart, and know it's hurting right now ... and tell yourself .. that's o.k ... Chrissie

  • Forgot to send you a vertual hug ... always here if you want a chat .. x