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My 22year old husband is under palliative care.

30 Jul 2019 11:52

Hi There,

 

Ive just signed up here, In august 2018 my then boyfriend was diagnosed with treatable AML in his bone marrow. Hes had so much treatment and in March we were told there was nothing more they could do for him. I have been so strong throughout this, Ive completed a university degree and carried on working part time to ensure that I keep sain. However, my degree has finished, I hate my part time job and I'm still studying for some exams. We got married 4 weeks ago, It was the best day of my life. But currently, Im just in such a dark place, I keep running off to cry, keep snapping, im just very emotional and scared all the time. We live with his mum and dad and I adore them, but I feel like im getting in the way or aren't wanted sometimes. Im just so fed up of this rubbish that is being thrown at him all the time. I am trying to stay so strong for him but It is so difficult when you don't know the future. 

 

I don't know why im here on this forum, I think i just needed to rant or maybe get some stuff off my chest. 

Thankyou for listening. 

My 22year old husband is under palliative care.

30 Jul 2019 12:12 in response to laurenb0607

Hi hun,

Congratulations on your marriage! I'm so sorry to read this- 22 is absolutely no age at all and you're absolutely within your rights to feel the way you do.

My lovely mum was diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumour in Feb this year and was told the prognosis was 18 months- despite her currently doing well, it still feels like there's a clock above all our heads.

I'd be lying if I said I knew exactly what the right advice is, as I'm still figuring it all out too- but please, if you ever need a chat just let me know! I'm currently coming towards the end of my masters degree, I'm 23 so sounds like we're a similar age Happy the best thing to do honestly is just take each day at a time and don't try and predict anything. As for his parents, I'm sure that you are wanted there, they're probably just feeling just as scared and cheated as you are. If you really hate your job, I can't stress enough then honestly look for something else. I had a full-time job at a law firm whilst I write my dissertation but I absolutely hated it, and as soon as I left I felt so much better. 

As for snapping and being emotional- I'm exactly the same, this is all just part of coming to terms with the rubbish hand you and your family have been dealt.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing great xx

Sending a huge hug <3 

My 22year old husband is under palliative care.

30 Jul 2019 12:14 in response to laurenb0607

Hi Lauren

I can relate to how you are feeling. My husband has just finished his first cycle of chemo. I have been told that they can't cure his type only treat it. It's tough going trying to keep things going. We just keep getting more and more bad news. I feel torn that I have to keep working and feel family are judging me for it. However I find talking to others who have been through simular makes it alittle bit easier for me. I also tend to use the gym to help me get my anger and frustration out.

Evie

My 22year old husband is under palliative care.

30 Jul 2019 12:38 in response to laurenb0607

Hi there and welcome ...

You've sure come to the right place ... so many will know exactly what you mean, cause they've felt Simerla....

Now firstly be kind to yourself .. your young .. just married .. your Hubby has this vile desese... no wonder your feelings are all over the place ... l can't comprehend how tough that is ... and the stress must be off the scale ... so strait away , tell your self , your just trying to cope and get through the day ... tell your heart, it's o.k to be braking ... it's o.k to cry ... if you hold it all in you'll find you just snap ... and won't be there for anyone , even you ...

You know it's o.k to take timeout of a situation ... do anything for a few hours to think of something else ... give your brain a brake .. then you will cope better ..

I can empathise how it must be living with in law's... not easy at the best of times ... but understand, that's their baby ... and no parent wants to go after their child ... it's a parents worst nightmare ... so although your feeling a little left out ... your all doing the best you can for him ... but don't loose the fact, your his wife and next of kin ... so yes let them care for him .. but don't let them over ride what you want either ... 

Any time you want to get things off your chest ...  you can say almost anything on here  ... and it does help just writing it down ...  but now is the time to share with him ... thoughts .. admitting your both scared ... leave nothing unsaid ... and if I were you, I'd ring Marie Currie... number on their home  page .. they are there to help and support those with your hubby diagnosis... and their families... ask them about councilling... reach out to anyone and everyone you can ...

Sending you a big nanny hug (they are extra spiecial)  Chrissie ❤