Hi Lia ... so so sorry hunny ... I lost my mum in my 30s and l felt so cheated, and I can't imagine being so young ... cancer and life is so crule ...

Please do and feel what you need to feel ... everyone is different, and we all have to greave in our own way ... I'm sure your family will know you must be very emotional now ... you know I always worry about the ones who hold it all in ... because one day it poors out ... 

I saw you reply to others on here ... it is so good to reach out, and hold someone's hand who feels like you do ... this first year I think the pain is raw, and is there all the time ... it does ease after, you do learn to live without them, but you never stop missing them ....but your mum now lives in your heart, and when you look in the mirror, she's right there in you ...  she made you, you are her ... a mum a child are always contacted and nothing can take that away ... sending you a big hug ... Chrissie

Hello Lia123,

I just wanted to send our sincere condolences on behalf of the Cancer Chat team. We are all here for you even in the early hours of the morning if you need to talk.

I thought I would also share our page on Coping with Loss which will help you understand what you are going through at the moment. If you have trouble sleeping it might be worth also talking to your doctor about it as they may have some suggestions to help you get a good night's sleep again.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator