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Mum's dying of cancer and it's difficult

24 Jan 2018 21:33

My mum had been poorly with bladder infections for a while and had been sick at night but we thought this was due to her sliding hernia.  She was feeling up and down and when she got antibiotics seemed better. She then had back and stomach ache so got taken into hospital with a severe bladder infection which after 15 bags of antibiotics it got better. She also had a bladder inspection but due to the severe infection she would need to go back.  Her bloods levels were showing abnormal levels of free light chains and she was prescribed folic acid but due to go back to the specialist later.  Then just before Christmas 2017 she had stomach ache again and was sent to hospital Amazingly mum never complained which really upsets me as we should have known.  They did a CT scan and then the cancer tumour and perforation was discovered in her colon and it had spread to her liver. They were going to operate but then this decision was changed due to her hernia which is a real big one which had damaged her lungs as it would be kinder to mum not to operate as she was dying anyway with 80% chance of her not getting through operation.  They said she had 2 wks to live and it has now been 4 wks. That was a massive shock for us all but  I am very strong in front of mum and always positive but my emotions are all over the place.  I am off work as I cannot cope with it at the moment and want to be with mum.  I just feel hopeless as I cannot fix it for her. 

Re: Mum's dying of cancer and it's difficult

25 Jan 2018 18:14 in response to Kaz4403

Hi there ... so so sorry, your going through such a hard time ... and just wanted to send you a hug ... so many have walked your path ... and it's something that stays in your heart, and pops back sometimes and you feel it all over again ... l wish l could say something to ease the pain, but it's the price we pay for having wonderfull parents... the one song that springs to mind at this time is "let it be " by the Beatles...

Sending you a virtual hug from someone who knows how heartbraking it is loosing parents ... my thoughts are with you .... Chrissie ❤

Re: Mum's dying of cancer and it's difficult

28 Jan 2018 02:39 in response to Kaz4403

I know that feeling, When my wife was diagnosed with stomach cancer in May of 2015, she only lived till July, 2 months. A very healthy woman at 51, this came out of nowhere. I talked to a cousin of mines who lost her husband to cancer, I asked her how did she cope with situation, she told me, she don't know. I know exactly what she means now. I don't know how I To this daymade it through the everyday deal of watching a loved ones life deterioate right in front of your eyes. All I know is you get up everyday, take one day at a time and just do what you got to do. Your mind is not normal during this time Your kind of like in a state of shock. To this day, 2 1/2  years later, it's still hard to believe what happen to her. Having said all that, what we surving people go through is probably not much compared to what the cancer patient is going through, physically and emotionally. Life's greatest nitemare.

Re: Mum's dying of cancer and it's difficult

1 Feb 2018 10:39 in response to reelingrod

Thank you for your reply and very sorry for your loss.  I think taking one day at a time is the best approach.  Mums in hospital  with a bowel obstruction caused by the cancer so been very poorly but now managed to go to the loo so feeling a bit better but keeps being sick xx