Together we will beat cancer

Donate

Mums death

21 Jul 2019 02:36

about 18 months ago my mum passed away and I haven’t been able to cope with her death since I am only 18 years and I was 17 when she passed away I have no brother or sister and not a lot of family I’ve been drinking a lot since she died trying to ease the pain but after more than a year the pains just got worse for me and I can hardly cope with anything anymore I just wish she was here still it was the treatment of her cancer that left her in a bad way and I honestly think that’s how she died I just wish life could’ve been so much different 

Mums death

21 Jul 2019 14:10 in response to Kyleeeeyc

Hello sweetie - how awful that you have lost your mum especially when you were only 17. I'm not surprised you feel you haven't been able to cope with losing her. That's how we all feel when someone we love so much dies. You say you've been drinking a lot trying to ease the pain & I do hope sweetie that you will listen carefully to what I'm going to tell you.

When someone we love dies we all grieve & grief is extremely painful & feels unbearable. There's what's called the grieving process & to come to terms/accept that someone is gone we HAVE to go through that process. At the end of the process we find that we can be happy & carry on without the person we have lost. What you have been doing is drinking so that you don't have to feel that awful pain & I do understand why you've been doing that. BUT, all you are doing is putting off dealing with the pain. You are really refusing to go through the grieving process but you are actually doing yourself 2 lots of harm. The first is that you are doing yourself a lot of physical harm by drinking. Secondly, you are storing up an awful lot of emotional pain for the future because, like it or not, you will someday have to go through the grieving process. It is far better sweetie to do it now & the way to begin is to stop drinking.

If you feel you can't do it by yourself you need to ask for help to do it. Is there an older family member or friend you can talk to & ask for some help? Otherwise, go to your GP & tell him or her about it. S/he might refer you to a counsellor who you can talk to & who will help you sort everything out. If things get very bad you can ring the Samaritans - it's free & they won't aks you for your name or anything & they're really good at listening to people who are very unhappy.

You need to be brave to do it & I'll bet this is what your mum would want you to do. She certainly wouldn't want you to be so unhappy. Please do try sweetie to ask someone for some help. You can post here whenever you want to & someone will answer. Do, please look after yourself. x