Together we will beat cancer


Mums cancer has spread to her bones

6 Dec 2017 23:55

Hi i am new on here, roughly about 2 and a half months ago my mum got diagnosed with grade 3 aggressive breast cancer. Since then she has had a mastectomy and is generally feeling well. The surgeon had advised that all of her lymph nodes were infected with cancer and that all were removed and for her to have a ct scan and bone scan. After speaking with the oncologist he had advised for her to take chemo, radiotherapy and hormonal treatment. Today she was supposed to start her chemo but first recieved her results from the scans. The cancer has spread to her bones but hasnt spread anywhere else. The doc said the cancer was found in significant areas of the bones but didnt say where, im assuming everywhere is infected. Im confused as they have decided not to give my mum chemo but rather put her on 2 tablets for the next 3months and then give her another ct scan. I thought chemo was your best chance of survival for grade 3 stage 4 cancer? My sister and i both feel like the doctor is not telling us everything. We are both so scared at the thought of loosing our mum, and i have a 5month old baby which is my mum and dads first grandchild which makes this all so much harder cause i know my mum wont be there to watch him grow up.

Re: Mums cancer has spread to her bones

7 Dec 2017 17:12 in response to E.k

Hi my partner has breast cancer which has spread to her bones that was 2 half years ago she had chemo which the cancer had gone  from her breast and lymph nodes, she's on hormone therapy, so there is hope 

Re: Mums cancer has spread to her bones

7 Dec 2017 19:49 in response to E.k

Hi there, My husband has secondary bone cancer which was discovered in August this year but in his case it is so widespread that they never offered any radiotherapy or chemotherapy. On 21st Sept they told me he had only weeks left but he is still here. I can see him getting weaker by the day though.  I would say that maybe your Mum has more hope because she has been offered some help. I wish you all the very best for a positive outcome

Re: Mums cancer has spread to her bones

8 Dec 2017 09:38 in response to E.k

Hi E.K

Thanks for posting on our forum. I am very sorry to read about your mum’s situation. This must be such a difficult time for you and your family.

As I am not involved in your mum’s care, it is very difficult for me to comment on why they have decided for her to have this other treatment rather than chemotherapy. I think the other treatment may be hormone therapy. The best suggestion I have in this situation is for you to discuss what has happened and why with her medical team. You would need your mum’s permission due to confidentiality. Her breast care nurse (also known as clinical nurse specialist) would be your best first point of contact.

When cancer spreads to another area of the body, this usually means that it is an advanced cancer. And I’m afraid to say that with advanced cancer it is very unlikely it can be cured. I’m sorry to tell you this on the forum. Treatment decisions in situations like these can be very difficult. And the aim of the treatments given are to control symptoms, shrink or stabilise the cancer. But also allow some quality of life. Breast cancer is complex and the medical team look for very specific characteristics when planning treatment. Some of the treatments that can be given like chemotherapy can make people very poorly and may have little additional benefit at this point in treating her cancer, so maybe this was part of the reason why but I can’t say sure. You may find it helpful to read our section on advanced breast cancer treatment here.

It is difficult in situations like these to be very hopeful as it is tinged with lots of uncertainty. You may find that your mum’s breast cancer responds to the tablets she is taking and stabilises the cancer, but unfortunately you have to hold tight and wait for her next scan.

I’m hope reply has been of some use and your mum’s medical team can explain in more detail about the choice of treatment. You are more than welcome to get back to us if you have any more questions. Or you can call us on 0808 800 4040. We are here from Monday to Friday, 9 am to 5 pm.

Best wishes