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Re: Mum passed away Christmas morning

28 Dec 2017 23:49 in response to emilyf97

Hi Emily - I just wanted to say I am so so very sorry for the loss of your mum. I’m new to this chat but your words struck a cord with me as they are very similar to what Iv also been through. 

In late August my mother in law was going through tests for kidney stones. However, unexpectedly this turned into her being diagnosed with a very rare and aggressive form of kidney cancer. She was told that it was incurable and that palliative care was her only option. 

In what feels like an absolute whirl wind, she sadly passed away in early October. It was so unexpected and happened so drastically fast that it’s been so difficult to come to terms with. I feel cheated as she’s didn’t have a Chance to fight it. The way you speak of the last moments it’s something I’m also really struggling to get out of my head. She was, until recently, a strong and healthy women and to watch someone deteriorate in front of you like that is heartbreaking. My partner is just 26 and is really struggling with the loss of his mum, and so is my father in law. I’m so devastated.

I know there isn’t much I can say to take the pain away and everything seems horrifically unfair. I just wanted to share my similar experience in the hope that it might be some sort of comfort. I sometimes think it’s difficult for my friends/family to truly understand how I’m feeling, unless they have been through it themselves. 

Im learning to take each day just one day at a time. Please remember and take care of yourself - and also allow yourself to grieve. I hope friends/family/loved ones also give you the strength to get through this. 

Sending you heartfelt condolences. 


Re: Mum passed away Christmas morning

29 Dec 2017 00:00 in response to emilyf97

Hello Emily, 

I am so so sorry to be reading this. It is utterly devastating to lose not only a parent but on christmas day and at such a young age too. It is beyond unfair! I can sympathise with how you feel so if you ever do need to rant or talk you're always welcome to send me a message. The same applies to anyone else too! I lost my Dad in august (4 months ago) and I'm 28...older than you but still very young to lose a parent. Grief is very complicated, hard to even describe until you experience it. It comes in waves and I have found myself going through every emotion. The main one being numbness. So if you do experience this it is completely normal. I think a lot of it is shock, my body and mind won't accept my Dad has gone. Although I can't offer much advice, I do understand. I was also there when my dad died. It felt so surreal like a dream. It still does. X 

Re: Mum passed away Christmas morning

29 Dec 2017 12:24 in response to Annieliz

As I've said probably far too often, life is unfair, and I am just sorry that cancer, and any kind of suffering for that matter, exsits at all. 

I've been thinking along those lines too, like why do some people end up drawing the short straw? And then when they do, why make them suffer SO much? Can't one obstacle be enough? I have so many questions... You can do all things right in your life it seems, but sometimes it all just comes down to random bad luck - this world really doesn't make sense.