Hello Linda63,

What a moving account of the day when your mum and dad would have celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. 60 years that is impressive and your parents seem to have loved one another very much and it can't be very easy for your dad at the moment. He seems to be a very brave man and he is right I am sure that your mum knew how much you loved her.

Moving on can be so difficult after losing a loved one. Our information on coping with grief highlights the different stages of the grieving process and may be of interest to you. I hope that you will also get chatting here to others who are finding it difficult to deal with the loss of a parent or a close loved one.

We are so sorry for your loss. Try and cherish the wonderful memories you have of your mum and of your parents together, the strong loved that united your parents for all those 60 years. We are all here for you anytime you need to talk.

Warmest wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you Lucie, I very much appreciate your reply and kind words. This forum has helped/continues to help. x

Hi Linda. . How are you?  How is your dad doing. . I've been asking myself the same questions as you've posted here. . I kissed my mum all the time but did I kiss her that day. There's so many blanks. . But I think that's the trauma attached to grief . It's the worst time of year for if not all then most of us here. . I wanted to check in to see how you're doing 

Best thoughts sent your way and wishing you a peaceful heart x

Hi kkkerry2,

Kind of you to post, I hope you are ok? Not sure about you; I take a day at a time and some are better than others, I think it is getting easier, the not so good times at the moment ....because of Christmas, Dad will come to us, with my brother and 2 Uncles for the turkey lunch and then nieces and great nieces and nephew will also pop in later. I bought a lovely tree decoration in memory of mum, although I haven't yet managed to read out the whole poem inscribed without getting upset but I will get there. My dad is so brave and he always thinks of us before himself, we're all rallying around to support him, he misses mum so much.

Something that I can't get out of my mind and I am going to post later ( ask the nurse) is the gasping for breath that mum had shortly before she passed, she was unconscious but I googled it, I know not a great idea and now I think she must have been in distress because of it and it has really upset me. My husband says to stop thinking about it, but I get flasbacks and its horrible.

Thank you again for keeping in touch, it helps to 'talk' and know that you understand. I very much hope that you are doing ok and there will be some happiness for you and your family at Christmas.

Take care

x