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Re: Miss my dad

13 Dec 2017 09:34 in response to Nicola76

Hi Nicola 

Let's just all prey and.hope we can try to get through Christmas for all of the people we have lost and try to make it special for the loved ones we are lucky to still have. 

We've been told dads ashes are ready to be collected but I'm not ready to get him back in a plastic box...

I dreamt about him last night... he was drinking champagne saying it was lovely and told me hed bought 6 bottles but not to tell my mum!! Made me laugh and cry at the same time... God I miss him so much. 

Sending hugs

 

Karen

Re: Miss my dad

13 Dec 2017 09:42 in response to mari.zal

Hi Mari

We're both struggling but trying to get on with things. 

We've just been told dad's ashes are ready to be collected but I'm not ready to get him back in a plastic box....  

Me and mum used to always go on coach trips together before dad became ill, so I'm sure in time we'll be doing that again.... just need to get through Christmas. 

I hope and pray your dad gets treatment quickly and goes into remission... your in my thoughts. Xx❤❤

Sending hugs

Karen xxx

Re: Miss my dad

13 Dec 2017 18:57 in response to Karensusan1409
hey im new to this but, my god I know how ur feeling I lost my dad 9 weeks ago yesterday and its the strangest feeling ever, diagnosed 2nd jan this year with liver and lung cancer I got engaged on the 1st jan at new year so straight away high emotions to low we moved the wedding forward and planned to do it in this country after planning it abroad but 21st September I got married and thankfully my dad was able to walk me down that aisle and do his speech.... who would have thought just 3 weeks later he was gone he lasted 6 days after finding out that the cancer had gone to the brain that was the biggest shock, as we really had no idea he was getting better found out 18th july this year that the liver and lung had shrunk to half an inch and the lung was almost all gone at this point you think positive and see the light. in and out of hospital then from about july but thankfully we had him home for the wedding spent 12 weeks in the beacon ward at musgrove we cared for him once he was discharged in oct he was 53 and he had so much dignity and held that together till the end. the Monday before he passed we had care out and they watched us and said we where doing great and to continue doing everything we where doing . to think at 2 am on the Tuesday I would have a phone call to say mum was worried as he is coughing and waiting for a dr call back was not what we expected the night was horrendous me and my sister where calling 999 as he had collapsed the night went on and on, and this happened twice (worst night of my life tbh) me mum and my sister where all their till the end and paramedics took over in the end till the hospice staff turned up we kind new that things where bad and it was time now, as he had his wish and that was to come home to die... ( god I miss him) but right now 9 weeks later im so worried about my mum, me and my sister had time off work and now we are both back to work she obv has good days bad days, I am deff not looking forward to Christmas, mum has spoke about moving selling the house getting rid of the dog... all these things are just talk (I hope) as this week she isn't saying any of this thankfully

Re: Miss my dad

24 Dec 2017 18:53 in response to Karensusan1409

Hi Karen,

how are you? How is your mum?

i know you were dreading Christmas but have you and your mum decided on doing something for just the 2 of you?

i hope you're both okay.

 

take care

mari

Re: Miss my dad

28 Dec 2017 15:21 in response to mari.zal

Hi Mari,

 

We got through the day with family around us... we laid a place for dad at the table. Mum's going over to my brothers tonight for new year, so will give me chance to gather my own thoughts. Hope your day was ok and you and your family are well and sort of coping with things

Sending hugs

 

Karen

Xxx

Re: Miss my dad

28 Dec 2017 21:55 in response to Karensusan1409

My Dad died on 15th December. His funeral was last Friday. I feel so strange and after the first day have hardly cried. I have been trying to be strong for my Mum and think I have buried my emotions somewhere. I am so worried about my 76 year old Mum. She is so lost and tearful. The house is huge somehow with only her in it. My sister and I took time off work but have both had to return to our jobs. I spoke to her earlier- she has seen no one today at all and was tearful.  I live 3 hours away so can’t just pop round. I feel helpless. 

Re: Miss my dad

22 Jan 2018 15:52 in response to Karensusan1409

Hi Karen. I am 39.  My dad had 3 kinds of cancer and lived with it for a long time.  Then in July he died of a disease called PML which can be caused by one of the cancer drugs he took years ago.  I wached him deteriorate for 6 months. First he lost his ability to walk. Then he lost his ability to talk. He would try but just gibberish would come out.  Then he went blind.  I would go into the nursing home and hold his hand and all he could do is tap me with his thumb.  He couldn't even use his right arm.  It wouldn't work. He was such a tender hearted person. He suffered with sickness and pain his whole life.  My heart still bleeds when I think about what the poor guy went through.they would lift him out of bed with a machine and it looked so uncomfortable.  Since he was blind and disoriented he was probably so terrified.  He would scream.  Then on July 16th of 2017 I and my brother, my uncle, and my dad's girlfriend were in his room ( I spent that whole night with him ) he had an oxygen mask on and he started to struggle for air even with the mask on and his hand was turning blue from lack of oxygen.  His heart stopped and he died.  I saw his body lying there with his eyes wide open stiff as a board and I broke down and cried like never before.  I still cry at least several times a week and I am crying now .  I can't describe the pain.  I talk to him every single day.  It is the worst thing that ever happened to me.  So you are not alone.  Every single day somebody in this world feels a similar kind of pain. I say similar cause no 2 people are the same.  I pray that you find some peace eventually but it won't happen right away.      Greg

Re: Miss my dad

9 Feb 2018 02:50 in response to Karensusan1409

Hi Karen,

im sorry I ha ent been in here in a while. I started a new job and have been travelling every week during the week leaving weekends to catch-up on all the housework.

how are you getting on? It’s nearly March. It’s worse when people stop visiting which isn’t their fault but is hard for the person grieving.

my Dad is on his third round of chemo. My mum said the consultant said my dad had 12 months but he seems fine. It’s strange knowing his got this thing inside him that will kill him one day. It seems positive he’s on his third round of chemo but I can’t help thinking that’s nearly 3 months down.

enough about me now. How about you? Have you started to do anything to pick yourself up? I know that the best way to beat depression is to have something to look forward to. I know once that thing is over the depression comes back, but that break from it will work wonders down the line. You can then plan the next thing to look forward to. Include your mum as well. Maybe trips to the Lake District. I’ve heard Oxford (I think it’s Oxford) has a tiny little village full of bookshops and has old charm - that may be a nice place. If you book it for a few months down the line it will give your mum something to look forward to. The looking forward to part is better than actually doing/ going there.

Sorry, ive rambled on a bit.

take care,

mari