hey im new to this but, my god I know how ur feeling
I lost my dad 9 weeks ago yesterday and its the strangest feeling ever,
diagnosed 2nd jan this year with liver and lung cancer
I got engaged on the 1st jan at new year so straight away high emotions to low
we moved the wedding forward and planned to do it in this country after planning it abroad but 21st September I got married and thankfully my dad was able to walk me down that aisle and do his speech....
who would have thought just 3 weeks later he was gone
he lasted 6 days after finding out that the cancer had gone to the brain
that was the biggest shock, as we really had no idea he was getting better found out 18th july this year that the liver and lung had shrunk to half an inch and the lung was almost all gone
at this point you think positive and see the light.
in and out of hospital then from about july but thankfully we had him home for the wedding spent 12 weeks in the beacon ward at musgrove
we cared for him once he was discharged in oct he was 53 and he had so much dignity and held that together till the end.
the Monday before he passed we had care out and they watched us and said we where doing great and to continue doing everything we where doing .
to think at 2 am on the Tuesday I would have a phone call to say mum was worried as he is coughing and waiting for a dr call back was not what we expected
the night was horrendous me and my sister where calling 999 as he had collapsed the night went on and on, and this happened twice (worst night of my life tbh)
me mum and my sister where all their till the end and paramedics took over in the end till the hospice staff turned up we kind new that things where bad and it was time now, as he had his wish and that was to come home to die... ( god I miss him)
but right now 9 weeks later im so worried about my mum, me and my sister had time off work and now we are both back to work she obv has good days bad days, I am deff not looking forward to Christmas,
mum has spoke about moving selling the house getting rid of the dog... all these things are just talk (I hope) as this week she isn't saying any of this thankfully