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Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

2 Jan 2021 13:01

I lost my wife to cancer recently and I have never felt so alone. I am experiencing all kinds of extreme emotions from grief to guilt. I really want to connect and talk to others who have been through this terrible period.

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

2 Jan 2021 14:08 in response to Richard_K

Hi there,

Sorry to hear your loss. Loss of our loved one is unbearable, unbelievable. Feels like whole world is upside down, it's extremely painful. There is no answer why? But I keep asking myself why? How??

Try to contact Cruise Bereavement, GP, or go for walk you might get some comfort though it's hard just a little bit distraction to ease your pain. 
Look after yourself 

Ash x

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 11:08 in response to Richard_K

Hi l lost my partner to cancer on 2/12/2020 she did not want to go in a hospice so she stayed at home every week was awful watching her in pain I worked full time still do not one bit of help from the firm I work for so when I came home 2.30 in afternoon I was her caregiver till 6.00in morning I think the worst part is doing all you can then your left alone with nothing to do my head is all over the place but I know you can not change anything we have to carry on one of the worst things is not one of my family or her friends  every rang her up or me to see how things are going they still haven't my Nan always said in life there's only one person you can depend on yourself which is true people who you know don't want to know but one day it happens to everyone you have good days bad days but that's what life is 

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 13:43 in response to ash53

Hi Ash, yes I walk sometimes and speak with some friends.

My parents are staying with me now so my mind keeps distracted. 

It is difficult to see a way forward and I keep blaming myself for many things. 

But yes I try to keep my mind distracted as much as I can.

I am sorry for your loss Ash x

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 13:55 in response to thebeatles2008

Hi there, I am so sorry to hear about your loss - it sounds like we are in very similar situation.

I lost my Angel on Christmas day and it just all happened so fast.

Fortunately, my company (pret a manger), insisted I stay on furlough the entire time and I still am. I can't believe your company didn't help you.

I try constantly to distract my mind to achieve some kind of peace but it is hard. The worst thing is I keep asking myself if I did enough and did I show her enough love. 

I think it is important to have people around you at this time - it really helps to talk. Right now my parents are staying with me.

Hang in there - I am sure something good will happen for both of us.

Rich x

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 14:05 in response to Richard_K

Hi there,

I'm  glad you have some friends to help you at this difficult time and your parents are there for you which is definitely a help to ease your pain. 
There  is no right or wrong. We all try our best to help and save  our loved ones. Do not feel guilty, think of good times you had together, you will cherish those memories. Though it's too raw for you to think anything else at the moment. One step at a time.

It's four months two weeks since my precious son passed away so sudden, so quick, life is cruel. Will be starting my work soon, as I worked for a month as a Phased Return. I have understanding manager and colleagues, works helps me to distract my mind, even though I cry everyday despite my families and friends support, I feel so empty, sad.

Take care, look  after yourself

big hug

Ash x

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 14:34 in response to Richard_K

Hi i lost my wife on the 22/12/ 2020 she was everything to me  mother of our children  my best friend  my lover  my everything  I'm so sorry for your loss  

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 15:06 in response to Chris2020

Hi Chris, we both have to get through this.

I know that my wife would not want me to be like this.

She would want me to live my life.

If anything I have to try to be strong for her.

You too and at least you have children to cherish and love from the relationship.

Rich x

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 17:01 in response to Richard_K

 I no what your saying about  keeping strong my wife would  want the same for me and the kids but we all feel a massive pice or all our hearts ripped out  things will get better in time I hope. As you  probably feel the same you have lost your best friend - sole mate- rock - lover  lover  is hurting me the most at the mo but  changes every 5 minutes 

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 18:41 in response to Chris2020

Yes I know - I have just had a really bad hour.

I feel empty and that there is no point to life.

No meaning to anything anymore along with a massive feeling of guilt.

I just feel that she is still with me by my side - trying to tell me that everything is ok.

Everything will be ok.

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 18:57 in response to Richard_K

I know what you are going through, I lost my husband back in June, my emotions are all over the place, I hide my emotions, which probably is not the thing to do, but I do put a front on, but inside I am screaming. It's so difficult, becsuse you can not meet people to talk about your emotions and how you really feel. I am so scared since losing my husband, it's horrible being on your own in the house. I do go for walks, but don't like going on my own. I really miss going to my gym, which helped mentally so much, I just feel punished, and there is nothing we can do until this dreadful pandemic goes. They don't know the half how many people are suffering in silence. But I really feel your pain, it's going to take time to ease. It is important to try and get out to clear your head. It's just a horrible time, please look after yourself. 

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 19:01 in response to Richard_K

I often think about following my wife to heaven but some how feel she would be mad at me as she thought so hard to beat cancer and did for 6 years she loved life and for me to end mind seems wrong no  to mention the boys how would they cope . I understand your pain mate I really do how come you feel guilty? At least you feel her with you  I can't feel anything just loss and pain 

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 19:45 in response to Carmarthenshire

Yes getting out and walking does help and being around friends and family.

Everytime someone hugs me I just break down in tears - I don't try to hide it anymore. I know I need to let it out whenever it comes.

I know we are not supposed to do these things in the pandemic but without those hugs I think i would go crazy.

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 19:50 in response to Chris2020

The guilt is just feelings of 'did I really do everything I could for her?'; 'did i tell her everything in my heart before she passed?' Etc. Little upsets that we had and thinking of times I got impatient with her. There are so many irrational emotions that can kick in when your loved one is dying. 

Meeting up with people who have lost loved one

3 Jan 2021 20:15 in response to Richard_K

I understand I felt the same still do ! I'm sure you said everything  that needs t said and did everything you could do  as for little arguments I feel the same  I remember  we were out with the kids and they wanted an icecream  so we all went to the shop  but mummy could not keep up  so we said meet you back at the house The shop was only a 10 minute walk do you really have cared if I was 15 minutes and she got to come with us x