Hi Daises, aw, that's a real shame and shame on her, even if she was having a bad day she should have been more empathetic towards you after all, that's what she's trained to do.  Can you change your Macmillan nurse at all?  By the way, if you post those questions on the ask the nurses forum they'll be able to answer your questions.  

thank you Bobbie, I have asked the nurses on here and await their reply.

I don't know if I can change nurses but think I will investigate it, she was like this before and since I have only contacted her twice I am not sure if she always has a bad day or I was just unlucky

Hi daisies,

Welcome to Cancer Chat where you will receive a sympathetic ear, good help and support.

No one deserves to be treated in this way let alone someone in your situation. Yes you can do something about it and it is essential that you do - for your sake and other patients being looked after in this hospital. There are numerous ways - contact the Mcmillan off ice, speak to the cancer care nurse allocated to you at the oncology unit and contact your local PALS. I realise this is a stressful time for you and you are not being helped by this individual so complain and hand the problem on and ask for another nurse in the meantime.

Please return and let us know how things are for you. Best wishes. Rodis.

I'm a bit puzzled as to why you are addressing questions to her that you should be asking your consultants or doctor  unless Macmillan nurses have that role My only experience of a Macmillan nurse was when my mother's  cancer had become terminal we had one visit to introduce her then she went on indeterminate leave we had a call ten days later to tell us this then we heard nothing more

thanks Rodis, oncology nurse well not sure who this might be because I first had breast cancer then 2 years later bladder cancer, never had an oncology nurse just the one for breast cancer and then this macmillan nurse but you know what I am going to ask for someone else because she is rubbish at her job.

darkerdays when you have had breast cancer then a secondary bladder cancer and go regularly for cystology to the clinic you do not see the consultant and so have no choice until about 3 weeks from now when I will be booked in for surgery, then! I will speak with the consultant.  because you have not had these problemsyou do not understand how it works but you know it is scary because you have so many questions and no one to answer them and that is why I have no choice but to ask the macmillan nurse who is not very good at her job. And to be honest yours sounds rubbish too and I am sorry you did not receive the support you and your mum deserved at this very difficult time.   others have told me how great they were for them you and I were unlucky.

Hi daises, I was allocated a breast care nurse and when I had secondary cancer in the thigh I still phned her. She told me that she was still allocatted to me even though the breast cancer had been treated. I did have problems with getting her to take my bone pain serious before I finally had a diagnosis of secondary cancer. Went to PALS to complain but they were more useless than the nurse! Eventually i spoke to her and told her how let down I felt. Now she is brilliant. Sometimes we have to be bloody minded. which is difficult when when we are going through yet more treatment. My oncologist is great, but he said "us professionals need a push now and again" This is so true! I appreciated his truthfulness.

Take care dindin

Hi Dindin thanks for the reply, I will give my breat care nurse a ring monday and check this out, there are 3 of them and they were great and my oncologist is the best ever.  earlier this year I had a suspect growth that turned out to be nothing and I wasnt due to see my oncologist but prior to my results i phoned his secretary with my concerns and the lovely man called me at home that evening.

There are two Macmillan nurses working in the Urology department of my local hospital. They should both be declared national treasures.

Bob

Hi daisies.

I can sympathise with your experience as my mum has now had cancer for over a year and is under going her second bout of cancer and she has seen a McMillan nurse ONCE!!!

No one has tried to contact her or even offer her an appointment.

I'm so sorry that you have also had a bad experience!!!

Have you had any luck with maybe trying to change nurses... It makes such a difference to have a good supportive nurse.

Kirsten x

Hi everyone

Over my 4 year cancer journey ive met a few Mcmillan nurses and had both good and bad experiences.

There are two elements to this discussion, it sounds like some of the previous entries are commenting on the macmillan service, which is suffering just like other areas of health care, due to lack of nurses, more patient expectations, bigger service and sadly more patients.  A good macmillan nurse can be an asset to a family, however a poor macmillan service can leave a family/patient making difficult decisions without expert help which is wrong. As a nurse myself my advice would be to complain, YES complain, follow the complaints procedure which i would imagine the gp centre would have in your area. It is not right for us as patients to moan if we dont give the service the chance to put wrongs right. I know this does not always work and for those patients who are let down i understand their annoyance and frustration , however i would say again Keep Complaining.

The other problem is if an individual does not get on with thier allocated macmillan nurse. In my town we get a particular nurse depending on our postcode. As a38 year old when i was diagnosed my macmillan must have been mid 60s (no dis respect intended ) but we came from different generations. She is a lovely lady but just not the kind of support ineed. im very independent and strong willed and i need someone to tell me straight.I also find it annoying because most macmillan nurses cannot empathise with us, unless they have been in our position. i understand they can sympathise but thats different.

Nurses including macmillan need to understand that they will not always get on with all their patients, or bring out the best in them. it is not possible. when this happens though and its no ones fault, there is no get out clause, we are stuck with them.

what is the answer though!!    i dont know, because i now dont have a macmillan nurse despite been a palliative care patient at 41.  i kept saying over the phone that i was ok and i didnt need her for anything (in honesty i just didnt want her to come around ) and then i received a letter saying the service had discharged me. Do i want a macmllan nurse- YES.   Do i need a macmillan nurse- YES.   living with an incurable cancer is frightening and at times i just wanna pick up my phone and chat to a professional or invite her around for a brew....what did i do wrong ??

rad X X