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Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

28 Dec 2020 18:55

Never done anything like this  before but been told talking can help. I lost my wife 5 days ago  wife was only 39 she left behind two young boys ages 9 and 2  she had Brest cancer  and after a long battle she lost the fight. Now it's just   me I some how have to be a mum  and dad and keeping strong for the kids  with all the mummy in hevan  and will always be with us but all I want  to do is to kiss her lips and cuddle once more.     29/12/20 day 8  of this nightmare children seem to be dealing with all this ok ish! 2 year old asked for mummy ever time the phone rings had to bath him without mummy for the first time  that was very hard but I think harder for me than him 9 year old very quiet always playing mine craft  but does stop and talk  about mummy when feeling sad with is hard but lovely at the same time. Going forward I'm thinking of doing a memory jar  so we can Remember things  about  mummy not sure what else I can do? 9/2/21 sorted all the funeral stuff out music photos etc not a job anymore want to do  it's all just a daze! Sometimes at night I here her talking to me  so I sleep well and morning comes and I'm hit by that train again  just going round and round 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

28 Dec 2020 19:37 in response to Chris2020

Hello Chris2020

I couldn't read your post without stopping by to offer condolences on behalf of the whole Cancer Chat team at the loss of your wife. It must be an incredibly difficult time for you and for your boys and I hope that you have friends and family around who are able to offer support. 

I also wanted to try and put you in touch with @Bistokid79 ‍ who recently lost his wife and has a 3 year old daughter. You can read his thread here. He may respond as I've tagged him into my reply here but you may also want to post a response on his thread and hopefully the two of you will be able to talk and support each other. 

I know that many of our members here will understand the pain that losing a loved one can cause and I'm sure they will stop by to share their support with you too. 

You might like to have a look at the Cruse website at some point too. They are a charity that offers bereavement support to both adults and children. It may be useful if you find that your boys, particularly your elders, need some support with all that has happened. 

Keep in touch Chris. As you say, talking does help and we will do our best to support you. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

28 Dec 2020 22:26 in response to Chris2020

I am so sorry to hear for your loss !!

And really feel for your kids and you can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling !! You are wife was too young to go !!

But you will have to be strong for you kids, I hope you have family friends support network . It definitely helps talking to other people. 

I have lost two relatives to cancer one of them was who had two girls (one 9 and one was 11 ). That was 10 year ago 

Jeet123

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

28 Dec 2020 22:54 in response to Jeet123

 Thank you for your kind words  The best I can say is I'm very very fragile at the moment loved / love my wife so much  but her last words were o love you so much please look after the kids you are a great dad please don't come and find me  until you live your live  so I gave her my word x hope your ok?im so sorry just saw your post  I'm so sorry To hear you have breast cancer but you're right it's good to get it checked out straight away I'm here to talk if you want to

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

28 Dec 2020 23:15 in response to Chris2020

Hi Chris 2020

Im so sorry to read about your wife, it must be so difficult for you and your family. Nothing prepares anyone for that. I have had breast cancer myself so can understand how scarey it feels and how lost. I also lost my sister to cancer a couple of years ago. It's going to be very tough but it will gets little easier but it takes dayby day and you never forget the person you've lost. I'm sure you will get lots of support here. Take care x

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

28 Dec 2020 23:21 in response to Trixie26

Thank you for your kind words and having time to send me a message  I'm glad your ok now  I kind of understand how worrying it all is  going through all of it 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

29 Dec 2020 00:26 in response to Chris2020

Hi Chris 2020 

Yeah I had surgery about six weeks ago and will have radio therapy in two weeks time 

Its understandable that you are very  fragile as it's been only few days , you lost your other half it s going to be painful journey but time heels!

I was only 3 year old when my dad dad died and my mum brought 2 kids her own and she did very good job of it!!

You have to be very brave for your kids take one step at time and ask for help and support when you need it from family and friends. 

And please keep us informed how you been doing and if needs to talk 

Take care 

Jeet123

 

 

 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

29 Dec 2020 10:50 in response to Jeet123

Six weeks  wow I remember all the radiotherapy  good luck  I'm sure everything will work out for you ( my wife would hate me saying that) she would want me to say  you go girl and kick the cancer s **** keep strong   You can do this  her words seem much better than mine. X

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

29 Dec 2020 11:46 in response to Chris2020

Thanks Chris

I am the lucky one that cancer was diagnosed very early and it was stage 1 !! I am staying positive 

Sounds that your wife was very strong women !! 

What was her cancer stage? And how long ago she was diagnosed? I hope don't mind me asking ? 

Look after yourself and the kids 

This must be very lonely times as with covid 19 cant see many people !!

I hope you are getting lot of support from family if cant see people in person do video calls etc so your chilldern can attract with the family! 

Take care God bless you 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

29 Dec 2020 13:19 in response to Jeet123

Hello  my wife was first diagnosed in 2014  stages 2 close to 3   She had no pain she just felt a lump in her breast  we we're always Checking  we loved her boobs/ body  or thinking about it maybe she just got them out for me. anyway I few weeks later   Chemotherapy then the operation basically made her a new boob with her tummy fat  got lots of cancer cells out then radiotherapy which he sailed through And that Herceptin drug  6years on she got the all clear cancer had gone  in that time we got married and had another beautiful boy  in 2018-2019 then it came back a lot stronger she had chemo again but couldn't have many tablets as the heart was weak  chemo starting to work then went down hill fast  cancer has spread to her lungs and heart only lasted about 3weeks  di so at least we had time to say goodbye x she loved talking to people on here  so I felt are give it a go x

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

29 Dec 2020 14:36 in response to Chris2020

Thank you for the reply 

It's very sad that after given all clear it came back 

I found this site very usefull and  it helps to come terms pain and with sad feelings 

Take care 

Jeet123

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

29 Dec 2020 22:52 in response to Jeet123

Hi I made a mistake when I said my wife got the all clear she still had to go for mri scan every year  to check 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

30 Dec 2020 15:00 in response to Chris2020

Ok

Take care 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

30 Dec 2020 16:50 in response to Chris2020

I really feel the pain you are going through, I lost my husband back in June and it feels like the pain I have will never ease. But I want to tell you, I meet my husband 36 years ago he had lost his wife, left with 4 children. When we met we just clicked, even though he had 4 children we were so happy, had one more child after we got married. It was hard work, but we loved each other so much, we just got on with life. I hope you will find happiness again, you may not feel like it, but you are too young not to find happiness. Take care of yourself. Your children will keep you busy, and full of love. 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

30 Dec 2020 17:49 in response to Carmarthenshire

Thank you for taking the time to read my message and reply !  That's amazing your husband  any your self hit it off  where did you meet ?  And how are you doing at the moment? I feel I have lost a big part of me and doing things I don't want to to register the death  ect ect all  I want is her love her so much she was so many thing s   Mummy to the kids / my best mate/ sole mate/ lover  I guess at the mo   I change every 5 mins is I miss my lover  I  no that's strange but  miss that a lot  scap that just miss all of her so much x