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Lost my fiancé

3 Mar 2021 21:05

I lost my fiancé last Thursday to Lymphoma. He was only 27 years old, we were due to get married next year. He fought so hard and we weren't expecting to loose him like this. 
I haven't cried in a couple of days now and it makes me feel guilty that I should be feeling worse. I'm not sure if it hasn't properly sunk in...or just how I'm dealing with it. 
I've moved back in with my mum and I've got so much support which is really comforting. It just all feels so surreal, I can't wrap my head around the fact I'll never see him again. 

Lost my fiancé

3 Mar 2021 21:29 in response to Molly21

Hi ... oh my, that's beond crule ... cancer knows no bounds ... 

I'd say just go with however you feel at the time .. no mater what people say, there's no "normal" grief .. I found it comes in waves ... like standing on the shore line with your back to the sea ... and the wave can catch you just when wer not expecting it ... and every emotion can come and go ... from numb to angry to calm to panic ... everyone feels these emotions , just not in the same order ..

We lost our Jess a couple of months ago, my 18 year old granddaughter to acute myeloid leukaemia ... and I'm getting waves as well ... O.k one minute ... then like now, she would have been 19 this Friday.. so l know that cancer doesn't care what age we are ... 

So hold on in there ... know your just mourning your own way ... but know those waves may take you when your not looking ... sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x 

Lost my fiancé

6 Mar 2021 08:45 in response to Molly21

Hi I'm so sorry for your loss cancer  is so evil I took my wife December last year  She was only 39 she left me over two-year-old and a nine-year-old i'm here if you fancy a chat 

Lost my fiancé

6 Mar 2021 11:17 in response to Molly21

I am so sorry for your loss.... you just need to be gentle and kind with yourself rather than think you should be behaving in any particular way.   Grief is complex and the hardest thing you will go through and everyone responds in so many diffierent ways..... shock and denial, carrying on as if hasn't happened, anger ..... rage, helplessness - all of these feelings wash over you and overwhelm ...sometimes pain is too much to handle and we fight to survive by any means our mind can find.    You don't need to feel guilty for any of the difficult emotions you are going through.....