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Loss of my Dad

12 Sep 2021 19:01

I am still in shock... My Dad's GP was investigating the cause of anemia which was found on a routine blood test.  He'd had scans and Xrays but the cause of the anemia was not found. Then he suddenly had pains in his chest and arm so spent 10 days in hospital for a suspected heart attack.  A CT scan showed that he had stage 4 lung cancer and he was discharged!.  I know the NHS is under pressure, but how can someone tell another person that they have stage 4 cancer and then discharge them with no help being in place by the hospital or GP.  

I was contacting his GP for help but the new process due to Covid lead to more delay. By the time his GP contacted me, his condition was worse and I had to get him back into A&E.

Whilst in A&E I found out that the lung cancer had spread from his lungs, to his liver and bones (something that my Dad had kept to himself, I guess he was trying to protect me and the family).  Now the  DR  believed the cancer has spread to his brain.  The DR gave him 24 hours to respond to treatment and if he did not respond the DR would withdraw treatment.  There was no time to process anything, everyone was in shock. 

Just like that my Dad's treatment was withdrawn the following day. He passed away within 48 hours after that; I was very lucky to be able to spend time with my Dad right until the end, many loved ones have not been able to do this with Covid and for that I am truely thankful. 

I wish I could be someone who can say my Dad passed peacefully, but I can't. In my experience, animals are treated with more dignity than my Dad received.   My Dad deserved better treatment than this, I feel numb, empty and I am not sure how I can accept the loss of my Dad. 

Has anyone had a similar experience/feel similar?  How do you move through this? 

 

 

 

Loss of my Dad

12 Sep 2021 21:57 in response to Jay007

My brother was challenging the doctors up until the day before he passed on the 21st.. He was going to have his 2nd round of chemo, but one Dr said it would be a couple of weeks wait, which by then, my brother got worse. Which my brother told the Dr that he would get worse by then. He was at the Dr's alone recording the cold way they spoke to him. They dont offer anything else, they don't say private care offer other treatments, which they do, unless you ring around and ask. NHS just say chemo chemo chemo, if you're healthy enough for it and my brother was keeping fit, eating healthy, determined to beat this dreadful illness.But he had colon cancer which spread to his liver, but also he didn't tell us the severity, protecting us too. We were told he had weeks left,when he deteriorated that day and passed the following night. I think I am still in shock. I feel numb sometimes which is a relief from the intense suffocating pain I feel otherwise. We were close and i know how you are feeling. 

Loss of my Dad

13 Sep 2021 13:17 in response to Maria21

Maria21 So sorry for your loss.  Thank you for your reply. 

Loss of my Dad

13 Sep 2021 13:26 in response to Jay007

No problem, sorry you have to go through this. Keep talking it helps sometimes x