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Losing your mum

20 Mar 2017 00:29

I see all the posts about people losing their mums and it makes me very sad as i have been through it myself. I lost my mumto cancer in 2009 and to be honest its like yesterday. Things have moved on i dont go to the grave as much as i did, but it does not stop me missing her. Its a strange feeling I a 48 year old man with my own wife and family and yet the void in my life is as big as ever. She was the only one that I could speak to about all my issues appear to not be listening to a word im saying,  offer little or no advice and sit on the fence, but at the same time make me feel a 1000 times better. My advice to everyone is look after your mum you only have one (Usually) and once they are gone you cant get them back. I assure you you dont need mothers day to treat them special make it a mothers day everyday.

 

Mike   

Re: Losing your mum

20 Mar 2017 19:42 in response to Mhutley
Thank you for this Mike... my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer last July and it's been a rollercoaster since. I'm so scared to lose her but I know it's inevitable. It find it helpful to hear about others experiences. I'm only 27, no partner or family of my own. Sometimes I wonder if having that would make this easier... Thank you for sharing, and I'm so sorry you have been through this x

Re: Losing your mum

21 Mar 2017 06:03 in response to Callmeclaire
I'm 29 and just lost my mom to lung cancer 2 weeks ago. It's been a really rough 2 weeks. My advice to you is to spend all the time in the world you can with your mom. They gave us a time line of 10 days to 3 months to live and I got on a plane 2 days later and spent the next 2 months with her. I don't regret a thing. I also wondered if a partner or family of my own would help this, but what I've come to realize is that the support of others is so important, no matter who it is. People I barely know have been there for me and offered up better advice more than my own friends have. If you ever need to talk, I'm here if you would like. He's right though. It's such a life changing thing to happen, so just make sure you spend all the time with her that you can.

Re: Losing your mum

21 Mar 2017 20:22 in response to jadenb827

Thank you for your response! My mum has stage 4 cervical cancer, spread to her lungs and at the minute it's her breathing that is getting to her. She had oxygen set up in the house yesterday. It's just all so real and so so sad. I live and work 6 hours away from home, and have been balancing going home and keeping up my life down south for the past 8 months. She doesn't want me to move home (or so she says) she wants me to keep my job and do well for myself.

People have been really amazing, and it's so nice to hear you would be willing to talk. I've been seeing a councillor but I feel that maybe speaking to someone who has experienced it and can give me the realest, most honest info and advice would be more beneficial.

Oh it's just so difficult. So hard to be positive when the worst possible thing is happening, and so hard to be present and mindful and live for the moment when I know what will eventually happen. I'm living in constant worry at the minute.

Claire x