Hi,

so very sorry for your loss. There is no hierarchy when it comes to losing someone - your love for her is as strong as your husbands so you have every right to grieve just as much as blood relatives - perhaps even more as you and she were very close. Grief can bring about a complex range of emotions and what you are experiencing is not only natural but healthy. I would continue to talk to your husband about how you are feeling, him being sad when you talk about this is also natural and you will be allowing him to grieve openingly.

It does get better over time as you come to accept what has happened but if it doesn’t then perhaps grief counselling could help. If you are struggling don’t be afraid to ask your GP for help. When my husband dies the kids were very young, I put together a memory box with pictures, videos, clothing and written memories of his favourite things/ happy experiences in order to keep his memory alive. Perhaps something similar could help you see your mother in law ‘live on’ and bring you some comfort.

sending you a virtual hug x

Hi 

I wanted to reply to say that it sounds like you had a very loving relationship with your mother in law and that you were obviously very close. I think it would help your husband to hear you talk about his mother and how much she meant to you. Don't feel guilty for what you feel, she sounds a lovely lady to have meant so much to you all.

I lost my mother eight months ago and we had a very close relationship, she was my best friend. To this day I still cannot believe she has gone. My partner also loved my mother and they got on very well but he does not talk about her and this has hurt me a lot as I would love to just chat with him about her. I just wanted to share with you how it feels coming from my side.

I understand about the numb feeling and the sheer anxiety of feeling that your mother in law has gone it's just awful. You have every right to feel this way you loved her so very much so it hurts to lose someone that was a important part of your lives. 

I am lucky that I have my children and I talk to them everyday about my mother their adored Granma. It helps to keep mentioning little things she did or said or would have said. I think it does help just to talk even if it's just a few words it does let some emotion out. 

Take care 

X x x 

Hi there I hope you are well and safe ️

I am currently struggling with the loss of my Mum in law and looking for help I saw your post and wondered if we could talk please?

peace

Prudence 

I know your post was last year, but I've recently lost my mother in law and I just feel so lost. She was THE nicest person I've ever met and I miss her so much. I feel so guilty being so upset as she wasn't my mum but I'm the pain is physical. I'm an emotional person anyway but I can't seem to get iced the fact that she's gone. I feel like I've lost my best friend. It was calming to read I'm not the only one who feels like this. 

I too am struggling with losing my mother in law. I feel like I've lost my best friend. The pain feels physical. I'm trying but I feel so lost.

Hi, 

I am currently going through the process of loosing my mother in law. I have felt so alone these past few weeks and I decided to see out help, and came across this page. 

Thank you so much for posting this I now know I am not alone. I also felt like I didn't want to talk to family about it. I didn't want to set back their healing. I worry that the family will not be the same again she was our rock. My family hadn't processed that she will gone. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. As I am not direct family - I hope this makes sense - I feel like an outsider. 

Again thank you for helping me without realising it 

Hi there,

My mother in law passed away yesterday and although we had been preparing for this for the last year I feel distraught. I literally cannot stop crying and I am wracked with guilt for being so emotional when she is not my biological mother. I miss her so much already and I can't imagine our lives without her. She was the most gentle soul and so incredibly selfless. She was so involved in ours and our children's lives and it hurts so much knowing she won't be here for anymore memories and milestones. My heart is absolutely breaking

God this all resonates with me so much. 
my mother in law was - as I have recently managed to put into words - the mother I needed at the time that I needed her the most. She was the guiding abs calming influence that helped me become the mother I am to my very young son today. I was with her and holding her hand when she passed. 
 

I feel so lost without her loving and feminine influence in our male-dominated family and the world feels scary (parenting in perticular feels scary!) without her unflappable and confident influence. 
 

I loved her so much - it feels really hard to have only had someone so special and mother-like in my life for only a few short years!