Hi all. my sweetheart past away 3days ago.am distrought ime lucky to have had my wife liz for 5 years doesn't sound much but inlater life its much longer.anyway liz had cancer of unknown primery had late diagnosis so oncologist **** was great but only had small window of treatment it was decided to give liz two types of chemo gemcarbo on monday had chemo monday all went well had hope! Liz had no sickness but slept a lot wich seemds normal on Friday 10.30am had bad stroke paramedics were great got her into hospitle and scanned in 30 mins .time for drug stroke busting drug unfortunately was informed that because of chemotherapy she could not have them( gutted )also because of stroke no more chemo we were both distrought worse to come because she was on azathioprine and had chemo both destroy immune system.on sat develped sepsis (the hospital **** were wonderful.) I couldn't believe how fast it spread so 4 am sunday she slipped away after i got there in time and whisperd to her dont worry sweetie u will be ok she made a small quiver like she heard me (i hope )then in five minutes she stopped breathing no rattle gasping .not ime writing this with tears in my eyes for her as we were so in love and had hoped we had a good few years together but with misdiagnosis and late treatment it was not to be so it shows that you must cherish your wife husband as we realy dont know how long we will have them .from hope on friday to her slipping away sunday sepsis took her in the end can you beleive it i cant two days and my wife friend love was gone the agony is unbearable they need to sort out the system and speed up system for diagnosis waiting for emergency scans misdiagnosis i main emergancescans taking weeks then having to ring to gee them realy is shameful shameful the drs **** should hang there heads in shame and they will know who theybecause good as they are suposed to be the best dr who procrastinates is no better than the worst one this. time it realy isnt the nhs its them.they will be at work today doing same procrastinating while ime at home greiving shame on them i hate them and there blase attitude im sure there ar others out the who think same excuse my so avoid that hospital ang go somewhere else excuse and grammar as have mild dyslexia its two weeks now buried my wife monday but have begun to think the sepsis was sent to stop my liz from dying in great pain from the cancer it took her so quick and she realy died with her family and i at her bedside
Hi Paul. . I had tears too, reading your post ... cancer is vile, it has no compation... it doesn't care who, or what age ... and it can take some so quick and some so slowly.... but the one thing to hold on to, is she hasn't got to go through any more pain .. no more treatments ...
she's still with you, you just keep her in your heart now, and no one can take that away ... these early months to me are like the RAW pain ... like a wound that is so deep, nothing can heal ... only time can make it a little less painfull ... but the scar remains ... its there to remind you, how blessed you were to have had that special someone in your life ...
It's so true ... I wish everyone, could take each day with loved ones and cherish them ... each day is a blessing ... make piece with ones you love but fell out with .. tell people you love them , today...none of us knows if we have tomorrow ... life passes in the blink of an eye ... I hope someone reads this thread, and makes a call / text just to tell someone how much they are loved ... and to you, Paul... l hope you find your peace ... l think they stay around and check on us, from time to time ... I've felt my mum so close, while I've been on my cancer journey ... sending you a big vertual hug ...Chrissie ❤
Thanks told liz every day i loved her never left her side with all the many times she was at appoints as she many other illnesses while we were together she said to me and others she had never felt so loved and cared for .tried to keep her going unfortuatly made mistake of going to **** they saw the nodes in her lungs and never said anything. anyway i cant bring her back but was hoping that my warning may help someone as the sergeon was in telegraph and argos in 2011 for operating on a person that didnt have cancer and they died of complications so ime not saying it in anger.many thanks for your words and wish you all the happiness you can have paul
Hay Paul... just want to add , maybe you can find out more, and ask for freedom of information about him ... letters to your m.p ... and the medical complaints board ... l know your not saying it in anger, but you must feel angry ... l would ... but after things settle and your ready , if you use your feelings to fight the system in the legal way and direct it with positivity, you just may save someone else ...
Life is so crule ... but wer always here if you need a shoulder ... or to vent ... someone medical, years ago changed my life forever with their careless attitude ... no one listened then, and l will always regret not doing something about it .... hopefully now things are changing ... take care Chrissie x
Hi yes think its throughout nhs but *** ,****, **** are marvelous.so kind and quick its a lottery realy.it was **** that took my lizzies chances away trouble is the surgeon was to slow and the drs after him i think theres not enough supervision . We contacted pals and they are investigating when we send forms back regards paul
Must have been terrible at that age my heart realy feels for you but this always happens when torys get back in then labour get in and have spend to put it right then get blamed for spending to much
Thanks for your kind words lizzie waited till i got there i said everythings ok sweetie ime here and within minutes she was gone i had done my best for her over last years to keep her going always with her every day hospitals hundreds of drs appointments for her other problems this time i couldnt keep her going ime glad she went becouse she would have died in pain from the cancer it realy was a blessing it was a no win situation but staff were so kind a caring certain love that hospital .hope your feeling a bit better my heart goes out to you for your kind words which have helped make me feel i am not alone in my greif excuse spelling i have slight dyslexia regards paul
Hi Paul ... oh my, one heartache stopped and another grieving heartache starts ... my partner, lost his wife to breast cancer some 16 years ago ... he went through so many emotions ... and he had a 17 year old daughter who was at college doing exams at the time ...
When l came into their life's, I saw the aftermath of what this does to everyone involved ... l felt like I was looking after them for her... we talked about her all the time, and she's sort of come along with us... never putting those memories in a cupboard in the mind ... just talked about everything with both of them ... l think that's helped him move on... although, for her 2 by another marriage and one they shared, they still grieve and miss her so much ... but then l still miss my mum, 29 years down the line ...
I look at life a bit like a book ... there's lots of chapters ... you can always go back and read that chapter again... it will always be there ... your just at the start of a new one, and like him, need to go through each grieving process. . There's no easy way through ... and although talking is sometimes painfull, it helps in the long run ... and even writing a letter to her every so often .. and putting it in a special place she liked ..
One thing, he found most hard to cape with was, those last months were full of caring for her, from morning to night and sometimes through the night .. Drs appointments.. tablets, washing her, cooking, cleaning... he never had a minute for him ... then it all stopped .. he felt like he didn't know who he was any more .. didn't know what to do with all that time .. felt really lost and lonely, even got angry with his daughter .. drank too much... and it took a long long time, to help them both ...
But it is doable, once you let your heart feel all those feelings ... that first year is raw ... but talk and share feelings... it's only when you bottle them up, they are overwhelming... so any time you want to chat, or ask him a question... I know he would help you through ... if you need that, you can friend me and he can chat to you there, as he doesn't chat openly on here .. he has been where you are now ...
So take care Paul ... live in the day ... and here if you need it ... Chrissie x
Thank crissi your kindness has been a comfort to me .wish i new how to friend you but my phone is the eight wonder of the world to me and have just masterd getting on this site lol .but thanks for your kindness and from your other messages to others your kindness has reached many more you should take great comfort from that so best wishs to you you are an angel
I saw you said you were having a bit of trouble figuring out how to add Chriss as a friend so I'm just including a link which shows you how to do it. Just click here to find out more.
I hope this helps but if you get stuck or have any other questions don't hesitate to ask
Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator
Thanks stef i can can tell u how antioxidants donate electrons to free radicals how a cat scan works down to the anialation of sub atomic particals pet i still can figure how to friend someone so am going to get my grandson to show me lol but many thanks
I think I can safely say that technology really can be the bane of our lives sometimes
I see Chrissie has said she sent you a friend request which may make things a bit easier for you now so I'm including a section we have on how to accept friend requests if you'd like to have another go before you grandson pops by to help.
All the best,
Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator