Together we will beat cancer


Last days I think....

17 Nov 2022 15:59

My Mum passed away in May of this year from Covid Pneumonia (made complicated by Stage 4 Lung Cancer) and just weeks later my Dad became unwell. He has now been in hospital nearly 100 days with aggressive T-Cell Lymphoma, had 2 sessions of chemotherapy but this was stopped as his condition declined. For mostly all his time in hospital he has been bed bound, hardly eating and for the last several weeks his eating has been virtually non-existent and likewise drinking. We were told end-of-life care a couple of weeks ago, on Sunday he tested positive for Covid and is now in a Covid ward. They have stopped all treatment (no medication now being given for his very low blood sugar) and all checks; blood pressure, oxygen etc. They contacted me yesterday to say come in as they noticed changes to his skin, his eyes were rolling back his head and he was constantly hallucinating. We stayed with him and the Dr mentioned he wasn't going to pass away that night. Today no change. He is literally skin on bones, its horrifying to see him hallucinating and to be back in the same ward with the same staff where my Mum was in May, its made me relive memories that have traumatised me. I don;t know how much longer I can witness my Dad like this, its just waiting for him to be put out of this terrible condition. His hands are purple and freezing cold, he is sleeping mostly, occasionally wakes to use the bed pan so that part of him is still aware. Its torture and I feel overwhelmed. 


Last days I think....

19 Nov 2022 16:34 in response to ChrissyJ

Oh Jane you poor thing.  I know exactly what you are going through as Norman had lung cancer and caught covid in hospital before coming home.  It was awful to watch him and it is traumatic and having gone through it all with your Mum I know how hard it is.  All I can say is that its ten months since Norman died and each day the image fades a little more, if it starts coming into my mind I force myself to do something else, call a friend, think of happier times, keep busy to stop your mind going to the dark places.  I send my love and strength to you. Carol xx 

Last days I think....

20 Nov 2022 08:58 in response to Dor06

Thank you Carol, I think we have exchanged messages of support previously and I remember your heartbreaking memories of Norman, I remember you saying you now sit in the conservatory and it was where you both had so many happy conversations and time spent together. I am so sorry for your loss and everything you went through. Sadly I can find no comfort at the moment of Mum because I'm now going through similar with Dad and have been since Mum's passing. There is no let up. They (my parents) are my only family so I am facing losing both of them this year. I am grieving my Dad already before he has gone. Trying to stay strong for him, that is all that matters now, I have to keep it together to be there for him. They are discussing transferring him to a Nursing Home next week once he tests negative from covid. I do not know if this is the best decision right at the end of his life, I am worried the move will disturb him massively. He has been in hospital over 100 days now but I guess they need the bed space. Sending you my love too and thank you so much for reaching out to me, it really does help. Jane xx