Last days I think....

My Mum passed away in May of this year from Covid Pneumonia (made complicated by Stage 4 Lung Cancer) and just weeks later my Dad became unwell. He has now been in hospital nearly 100 days with aggressive T-Cell Lymphoma, had 2 sessions of chemotherapy but this was stopped as his condition declined. For mostly all his time in hospital he has been bed bound, hardly eating and for the last several weeks his eating has been virtually non-existent and likewise drinking. We were told end-of-life care a couple of weeks ago, on Sunday he tested positive for Covid and is now in a Covid ward. They have stopped all treatment (no medication now being given for his very low blood sugar) and all checks; blood pressure, oxygen etc. They contacted me yesterday to say come in as they noticed changes to his skin, his eyes were rolling back his head and he was constantly hallucinating. We stayed with him and the Dr mentioned he wasn't going to pass away that night. Today no change. He is literally skin on bones, its horrifying to see him hallucinating and to be back in the same ward with the same staff where my Mum was in May, its made me relive memories that have traumatised me. I don;t know how much longer I can witness my Dad like this, its just waiting for him to be put out of this terrible condition. His hands are purple and freezing cold, he is sleeping mostly, occasionally wakes to use the bed pan so that part of him is still aware. Its torture and I feel overwhelmed. 

Jane