Cancer Research UK on Google+ Cancer Research UK on Facebook Cancer Research UK on Twitter
Donate

Let's beat cancer sooner

Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 14:33

Ill be dead in 4 months

I have been a horrible person my whole life

I am convinced ill wake up in hell

Is anyone in my situation?

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 15:14 in response to Jane.w
Hello, I am not in your situation right now but I hope you go to heaven and live a happy after life ❤️

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 15:31 in response to Jane.w

Hi Jane.w and welcome to the forum.

I'm really sorry to read of your situation, which I presume is due to a terminal illness.

Hell is a human construct, not a divine one. A way that allowed the early church to build up its power on earth: tell everyone you're damned unless you follow our path and join our church. It's really a massive con job - a type of existential blackmail.

If you look at the idea seriously, it's impossible to reconcile the notion of a loving god with the idea that he keeps a personal torture chamber. What would be the point?  No just god is going to condemn a person to eternal, infinite punishment for finite crimes. 

It's obviously a completely made up notion; a scare tactic to stop common people from questioning the church's power on earth. Don't give it any credence. 

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 17:15 in response to telemando

Thank you for your replies

I just think if i didnt know when i am dying and i died sudenly id hope id go to heaven

The fact that im in this situation and the fact that i have been a horrible person i feel its my punishment and it will continue in the next life

Keep the replies coming. I need them

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 17:21 in response to Jane.w

I was relentless. Nevermind the kind of person i was before my illness. In my illness for the past 5 years i have verbally attacked my family out of jeoulosy they are well. Seriously what kind of ******* i am

I want them to be well now but after i did so much damage to them while they were teying to help me when noone else would have me around

I evem took it out on my 5yo daughter and now she will be without a mum or dad. Her dad is an ******* that never keeps touch

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 17:38 in response to Jane.w

Hello dear Jane.  Forget hell - you are not going to any such place.  Anyway, who needs hell when we can suffer so much on earth.  Few of us have totally free choice how we live our lives; things happen, marriages go bad, people die and we can end up with a life we never wanted.  For your own peace of mind can you now make your peace with your family?  It might put your mind at rest and heal some rifts.  Certainly worth a try?  I don't of course know your current relationship with them but this is one thing that you can try to do.  Also please talk to us here if you are feeling very low.  Tell us a bit about yourself.  Annie xx

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 18:00 in response to Annieliz

Thank you Annieliz

The trouble i cant face them anynore. I have apologised but so what

I called my elderly perfectly nice mother a *****. How uncalled for. I have caused so many arguments very heated as well

All because of what i was going through because of my evil ex and the illness

While my family where there supporting me and me being an absolute monster to handle 

 

 

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 18:00 in response to Jane.w

My daughter is missing me

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 18:10 in response to Jane.w

How about writing them a letter, either to all of them or to each of them separately.  Just telling them how much you regret the past and know you were out of order.  I don't like to think of you going through all of this anguish at this time.  Either your family will reply the letters or they won't but at least you will know that you tried to the best of your ability.  Your coming to talk to us shows how much you want to resolve this and this seems the best way to start.  Annie xx

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 20:29 in response to Jane.w

Hi there Jane ... well my hunny, you have 4 months, give or take as time limits have been wrong before ...  cancer makes different people do different things ... and brings out those feelings in many ways .. you still have time to put right what you can ... you can stay where you are and leave with regrets and deep sadness ... or you can do your damdest to change things ... do whatever it takes .. make piece with them, like annieliz said ... write them a letter , tell them how cancer got into your head and the things your husband made you feel ... 

You said ... my daughter is missing me .... write her a little memorie book ... any pictures you have ... how you felt when you held her for the first time ... any loving memory you can think of ... so in the years to come she can look at it and know you loved her ... fight like you've never fought before... if you can turn this around you just may have memory of hugs and love if you really want it ... no mater what you called your mum, you can make up for it .. my son's could do anything and I'd forgive them ... the love for your baby is the most powerfull one on earth ... saying " I'm so so sorry... and l really do love you" just may melt any heart ... you go for it ... and even if you do this and fail ... then you'll know you tried ... write your baby her book and leave it with someone to give it to her later ... but if you don't give up , and they see you have changed , I'll bet my last doller  it will do something ... 

Even if you listen to how much they hurt, and say you can't change the past .. but we can the future ... .    Sending you positive vibes ... then your place up there will be waiting ... Chrissie ❤

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

9 Feb 2018 21:44 in response to Jane.w

I think Chriss has an excellent idea. It's not too late to build bridges to your family.

In addition to the memory book, you could also make 13 envelopes to be opened on each birthday until she's 18, each containing a card and a present. Perhaps, a charm bracelet, with a new charm added each year? 

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

10 Feb 2018 14:00 in response to Jane.w

Hello Jane.  How are you feeling today?  Can we help you at all?  Have you given any thought to the suggestions made by myself and others here?  I don't want to sound pushy but I think you may feel better once you start to take steps to heal things with your daughter and other family. 

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

10 Feb 2018 22:50 in response to Jane.w
Dear Jane, I just joined this chat group, I ran across it a week or so ago looking for information about a rare form of cancer. I pulled it up this morning (Saturday Feb 10) and I just saw your post. I can’t imagine what you are feeling and the many emotions and challenges you are going thru on a daily basis and I’m sure every minute of the day. I ran across your post and your concerns on going to hell. I wanted to provide you with some information and my prayer is your heart will be changed and you will find the peace you need to deal with the thoughts you are experiencing and the trials you are facing. I am a Christian and I know in this day and time Christians can get “labeled as crazy etc.” All I ask is that you open your mind and hear not only what I am saying but some scripture I want to share with you. I pray that you will read these from your Bible and ask God to guide you. My experiences tell me you are under conviction and that is such a great thing, because God is dealing with your heart, because He loves you. Conviction, as I look back over my life, though it made me miserable at times, when I gave into it and accepted ***** as my Saviour I was at peace. I am not here telling you I am a perfect person, I am so far from that. As a matter of fact no one is perfect, except *****. He is my best friend, my confidant, my peace provider and my comforter. I have a wonderful family that I love very much but my relationship with ***** and the peace of knowing I will be with Him one day in Heaven is the only thing that brings me true peace. I lost mom in my mid 20’s to breast cancer. I was mad at the world and I know she struggled with her relationship with God. There are many regrets I had when she was still living, things I wished I would have done, said to her. She was 46 when she passed and a wonderful mom and person. In 2013, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, a rare form of it. I would love to share with you my full testimony and my struggles and challenges with it someday, but I want to focus on your question in the post. I will summarize and tell you that God provided me two scriptures when I was facing my cancer. One scripture (partial) was Mark 5:36 – “Be not afraid, only believe”. These five words provided me the peace I needed to get thru the challenges I had ahead of me. The other was Isaiah 53:5, “But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” I had ultimate peace because I had accepted ***** as my personal Saviour earlier in my life, but God provided me peace with what I was going thru and I had accepted the fact that if I died from cancer that I was ultimately healed with His stripes (Isaiah 53:5). You see ***** bore the sins of all of us. Even the people that seem to be great people and do no wrong, God’s standards are so much higher than we can comprehend, that even they are not provided a free ticket to Heaven. If we have hate toward our brother in our mind to God it is like murder. I say this to say that no one is perfect and God had to send the perfect sacrifice and that was ***** his son. ***** bore our sins on the cross. He provided the door to Heaven. He offers a free gift of salvation if we believe in our hearts that He is God’s son and He died for your sins and He was raised from the dead, and we confess our sins and our faith in him. It is a free gift. But just like any gift we have to accept it. Please read Romans 10:9 and 10:10, John 3:16. I can provide more Scriptures. Please allow God to show you the true peace you need and are looking for by accepting ***** as your personal Saviour. I pray for you and your family and current situation. If I can help in any way, please let me know.

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

10 Feb 2018 23:29 in response to Jane.w

Hi Jane, I see this thread's about opinions, so here's mine.

There is no 'Hell', except the one you've created for yourself. You're already in torment. This means of course, that there's no Heaven either. When you die you become . . . stardust. You came from stardust, via the organised chemistry that is life, and you'll return to stardust until you become parts of something or somebody else.

See your doctor. Just as he'll prescribe meds to stop you being in physical pain, so he can prescribe meds to stop you being in such mental pain. Anti-depressants. Within the couple of weeks that they take to take effect, you'll no longer be able to hold a negative thought for more than a few seconds.

Your quality of life is what matters now, so do the things that will make it quality for you. Be the person you'd like to be, regardless of the past. That's gone, it doesn't matter. Find some peace. Let others take care of their own peace.

 

Best Regards

Taff

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

11 Feb 2018 07:37 in response to Annieliz

Hi Annieliz

Im not well. I appreciate your help

Those are very good ideas however at the moment I cant think too sentimental

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

11 Feb 2018 07:38 in response to Taff

Thanks for resonding. I hope you are right about hell

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

11 Feb 2018 07:41 in response to Benotafraid

I already tried accepting *****. It doesnt work for me. I cant accept any religion and yet I fear hell. Crazy situation to be in

I just think the fact that i cant accept and be at peace with religion that God has rejected me and hence I'll be in hell

Posts like the ones telling me im not going to hell arw helpful. But not the ones telling me to accept ***** that i already tried it doesnt help only makes me more scared

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

11 Feb 2018 08:05 in response to Jane.w

Hiya Jane.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I suppose.  You are at least having a friendly chat with us so at least I hope you know that we don't think you are a "bad" person.  We have all done bad things in our time (at least I hope it isn't just me!) - we are human beings; we are fallible.  But that does not make us bad people for ever (I hope, or I will be on my way to hell too, and I don't actually believe in that). So keep up the positive thoughts when you can.

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

11 Feb 2018 14:26 in response to Jane.w
Im so sorry you are in this situation. Im not sure if you can read this or not. If you are to exhausted emotionaly or physically to write those letters you could email this page to them - just hover over the https address at the top of the page until it highlights blue then press the button on the right of your mouse or cursor pad - choose the option "cut" or press control and C. open your email and put all the addresses into the To box with commas between each one then on the message part press the right sided button of the mouse/ cursor pad again and choose the option "paste" or control and v. this will put a link to this page onto the message then just send. Hope that helps x

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

13 Feb 2018 10:57 in response to Jane.w

You can't change the past but you can make sure that you don't do horrible things today and in the future.  

How do you want your daughter to remember you?  Try to live in this moment right now.  Don't focus on the past.

Breathe in love....exhale hate.

 

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

15 Feb 2018 00:13 in response to lhovey
Dear Jane, Sorry to hear of your struggles and fears. I have been very ill with C myself and faced with my own demise I think about death every day. I have researched deeply relgions and philosophies all my life and been all around the world, met famous gurus and spiritual teachers been in great temples churches healing places etc. Cut a very long story short I have come to the conclusion sad but true I think that we are all in the same boat no matter what we believe or disbelieve. We already are in a kind of hell and if you look around you you will see feel this every day, Man delights me not as Hamlet said, plus very probably we have iived here many times in different bodies, they call it out East the Wheel of karma, i think this is very real. There was an ancient Greek and Middle eastern philosophy that went underground due to persecution in the early Christian centuries called Gnosticism in which the Cosmos is a gigantic trap for unsuspecting or fallen sparks of the Divine or souls as we are and that the God of this world is actually a kind of Devil or in modern parlance we could call it Aliens or AI or whatevr anyway a force of great spiritual darkness has overtaken us and all but brought us and the earth to destruction. I say all this merely by way of urging you not to be hard on yourself but to see that very likely all humans are in the same boat regarding salvation liberation going to heaven whatever. I think there is a higher spiritual force that can heal and liberate us and restore us to our true nature I call it ****** within or your true heart and essence for me when i access that I am not in the hell of this world but feel a deep inner Peace. ***** said MY kingdom is not of this world and that i think is what he meant our true spirit is not from here hold and gather your divine spark however you conceive of it and it will carry you through and beyond hells here and hereafter. I have a wonderful spiritual Teacher and Healer in America who has helped me enormously without whom after my illness i would have lost all hope he even kind of resurrected me! If you jane or anyone want to know more please contact me otherwise go easy on yourself I wish you well,

Re: Im so scared im going to hell

17 Feb 2018 20:03 in response to Jane.w

Hi Jane, I continue to pray for you.  I thought of this verse when I read your reply to my post.  I Corinthians 14:33 - For God is not the author of confusion but of peace.