I have cancer for the second time & now have a few weeks to live. I'm a 46 year old female. I have cancer in my pelvis, small bowel & around my liver. My bowels haven't worked since Oct/Nov. So as a result I can't eat & have been in hospital since Nov being fed thru a picc line. But it has caused major vomiting & so now I've had to stop the feed. And I now must accept I will die in a very short space of time.
I am totally heartbroken. I always believed I would be healed. I've juiced, attended a herbalist, reiki, visualisation, meditation, positive thinking, the list goes on. But I've been told my small bowel is totally matted & there is nothing can be done. I met the love of my life 2 years ago & we're engaged. I had always suffered from anxiety & problems from childhood & went to counselling when I had cancer 5 years ago. I truly feel my life is only just beginning & now I'm dying.
How can I make peace with dying? I was online shopping last week buying loads of clothes for the year ahead I was so sure I would be healed. I've just read Anita Moorjani's book Dying to be Me who had an amazing Near Death Experience & from what she says there is nothing to fear from death & I do believe that. I just feel heartbroken cos I don't feel my time on earth is finished. I have so many hopes plans & dreams.