Together we will beat cancer


I’m 20 and my mum just died

11 Feb 2019 09:23

So my mum has had multiple myeloma for around 8 months. Eventually all chemo stopped working and her cancer mutated into plasma cell Leukaemia, they decided to just keep her on pain relief and take her off chemo altogether. I’ve been her one of her carers, and near the end I felt like I was doing most of it, I also took a gap year from Uni so I can be at home with her. A few days ago she fell and hit her head on the ground, the internal bleeding to the brain paired with the myeloma meant they had to let her die.

Whilst I knew her cancer was terminal It still feels so sudden and I don’t really know what to do now. it’s just me (just turned 20) and my 12 (almost 13) year old sister. I have quite a lot of family and friends who are supporting me, but I still thought I should post here to see if anyone else is going though anything similar to me or could give me any advice .

I’m 20 and my mum just died

11 Feb 2019 11:11 in response to thelostlemon

I’m so sorry you’ve lost your mum and in such tragic circumstances. I fully relate to how you feel. My mum passed last March after a 2 year battle with oesophageal cancer and while toward the end we could see she wasn’t getting better, she died suddenly of a haemorrhage one night and I found her in the morning. I had to get counselling for the shock. It does get better in time as images become less vivid and the pain is less raw. That’s great you have family to lean on. Try and focus on the good times. Look at photos of mum when she was fit and healthy. Talk to her friends and find out what she was like when she was younger. Make a memory box. These are all things that have helped me. Sending hugs, you will get through it


I’m 20 and my mum just died

14 Feb 2019 04:00 in response to thelostlemon

Sorry for your loss.. thinking of you at this awful time. I lost my mum to cancer 6 years ago when I was 15. Even when she deteriorated near the end of her battle, her death came a big shock to everyone as we all had hope. I refused counselling as I don't feel like I can talk to a stranger as such, even now, 6 years later. Everyone's different and everyone grieves differently. I definitely find photos help! I'd recommend that. And a memory box is a must. We collected all sorts of things. From her favourite top to photos and silly bits round the house that reminded us of her. You'll find what works best for you. 


Best wishes X