Cancer Research UK on Google+ Cancer Research UK on Facebook Cancer Research UK on Twitter

Let's beat cancer sooner

Please visit this post if you are experiencing problems signing up or logging into the forum.

I miss my dad and my grandad

2 Jan 2018 03:05

I lost my grandad in September to dementia then I  lost my dad in November to lung cancer.  I'm struggling. I keep having moments where I just can't stop crying. I'm usually a really positive person and always try to see past the bad. But I just can't seem to see any light.  

Re: I miss my dad and my grandad

2 Jan 2018 04:33 in response to PlanetEarthIsBlue

Hi I’m so sorry 4 u loss of u dad and grandad . My gran passed away in June 2017 2 heart failure. My mother passed away in August 2017 2 bowel cancer . It’s so hard can’t really give u advice. Just wanted 2 say u not alone on here . Take care x 

Re: I miss my dad and my grandad

2 Jan 2018 08:42 in response to PlanetEarthIsBlue

I read your earlier post about the difficulties you had with your dad and the things that went wrong with the system.  That must have been awful for you and probably adds to your ongoing grief.  There is however no time limit on grieving.  I hope you have friends/family with whom you can talk about your losses and how you are feeling.  If not you might like to try ringing the Cruse Bereavement Care freefone 0808 808 1677 who have been helpful to others who have lost loved ones.  Or tell us here on this forum.  My very best wishes to you.

Re: I miss my dad and my grandad

6 Jan 2018 22:56 in response to Gemini39
I'm so very sorry for your loss gemini39. You are right there are no words or advice, but I appreciate your kind thoughts and you are in mine. X

Re: I miss my dad and my grandad

6 Jan 2018 23:00 in response to Annieliz

Thank you Annieliz, it's so hard to find the words to explain how I feel. I have it all in my head and when I go to say it, it all comes out backwards. I'm trying to throw myself into a fresh start, lifestyle change etc. I hate to think I'm trying to forget him but I feel it's my only chance of getting up and getting on with life. 

Re: I miss my dad and my grandad

7 Feb 2018 22:33 in response to PlanetEarthIsBlue
Oh my dear how I understand your feelings. My dear daddy passed in November after a short brave 5 week battle with pancreatic cancer. I’m’s so awful. You are not on your own with this .. I and millions of others know what it feels like. Breathe and feel our hands in yours...we CAN do this xxxx

Re: I miss my dad and my grandad

11 Feb 2018 01:18 in response to tonic1
So kind and truly touching your words and I am deeply sorry for the loss of your dad you are in my thoughts, i hope you are keeping ok xx Before my dad passed I would read posts about how nobody can truly understand how you feel until they have too experienced the loss, and it's so true. I can't find the words to express myself to my other half. He feels he can't do anything right and I don't want to burden my mum as she too is trying to figure this all out. I feel so alone, I feel as though I need to keep how I really feel to myself because if I say it out loud I will crumble into a dark hole. I am trying so hard to put on a brave face. I have started a new job and i find myself saying "my mum and dad". My dad was my everything and I was so proud of him, he was always the topic of my conversations and I can't help but talk about him but nobody knows he has passed . I don't want to make a big deal about it but in a weird way I have this little bit I can hold on to that he is still here and nobody knows any different. It's wrong I know, I should be trying to come to terms but i don't want to be treated differently everytime I talk about him. I have good days and bad days, some days I just want to scream and cry.. I really have changed so much, the world seems like a different place completely, my likes my dislikes, its like there was a 'before me' and now there is an 'after me' . My heart aches and my mind hurts xxxx

Re: I miss my dad and my grandad

11 Feb 2018 08:17 in response to PlanetEarthIsBlue

Hello, Major Tom (sorry, I had to call you that, I was a big David Bowie fan).  I imagine some of your new colleagues have lost parents and have had - may still be having - bad times too.  So they are not going to think anything odd about what you are going through.  I expect there are some people with whom you feel more at ease.  Your choice of timing of course - choose a good day.  Unless they are exceptionally nasty people they will understand.  I hope it might help you.  Annie