the storyline with Shenade's cervical cancer is so close to home.  You can tell that it has been thourougly researched.  It brings it all back.  Everything that happened.  I still cannot believe that my mother is gone.  It still seems so unreal.  This storyline is taking me back through the journey.  Shenade's character is so brave.

Everybody is different though. My once vibrant and strong mother was terrified and was in denial about her imminent death right up until she passed away.  I really believe she was with us right up until the end.  Unfortunately she suffered becasue she refused pain relief even though she was in agony.  

Towards the end, although she could no longer speak and could not open her eyes, she was with us but locked in her body as it began to shut down.  

Today I feel so sad.  I miss her so much.  Its all so raw and i think about her every single day, every hour, every waking moment.  I am only just starting to sleep for a few more hours.  For 2 months i was existing on 2 - 3 hours of sleep.  

When i want to cry i just allow myself to.  

My heart goes out to everyone who has recently recieved a diagnosis and those of you who like me have lost loved ones. 

group hug xx