I feel so raw

Back in August/September my Nan developed symptoms of burping and wind a lot. 

She finally went to the doctors in December, to have various tests done. She wa 80 in December and wanted to go clubbing, and we achieved doing this! Absolutely brilliant. In mid January 2019 she was diagnosed with bowel cancer with multiple secondaries in her liver. My Nan later started chemo which made her deteriorate so much, taking her from 11 stone down to 7 stone, leaving her very confused taking multiple medications. 

She decided to stop her treatment due to her quality of life, after only one round of chemo approx 4 weeks. 

She deteriorated quickly, unable to walk long distances. We had to move her bed downstairs. She stopped eating and drinking. 

 

On the tuesday morning 16th she was sat up right talking to the hospice nurse, she slept all afternoon, into the evening of Wednesday 17th April before passing. 

I find it really hard to get my head around her time from diagnosis to passing. I feel that she must have had it a long time prior. I’m heartbroken that the time we did have was very short lived and that even she probably didn’t know either. Heartbreaking to say the least. 

Anyone else dealt with such a quick passing from diagnosis :( 

Lauren x 

  • Hi luv

    Ever so sorry for your loss.yes I to have been through something very similar.my mam got all clear in Jan 2018.routine scan in Jan 2019 showed secondary lung cancer.untill a week before she passed she was fine .you would never have thought she was ill.thu 18th April was a terrible day.she was in and out of what I believe was conscious.that evening the doctor came and she was fine!chatting like normal.gp told me and dad to hold I'm there.4.35am Fri 19th April she passed.i to feel totally robbed and still carnt believe how quick things happened

    Nicola

  • Hi Nicola, 

    i send my sympathies. I just find it all very strange. 

     

    Did they know, did they feel anything. All of these awkward questions. My granddads heart is broken and he question. He blames himself for not realising sooner. 

     

    L x

  • Hi

    Yes I believed mam knew she was dying .3days before she passed she said she wanted to die.i thought she was just having a bad day and it was the slow release morphine making her say these things.looking back now I think she knew.your grandad is bound to feel like this.my parents were together 51 years so my dad is going through same emotions.a lot of people said when it happened it was a blessing it was so quick.i found that hard to swallow but now it's been a month I am glad for all of us it was so quick.doesnt make it any easier tho.cancer sucks ️

    Nicola x

  • Hi 

    i understand conpletthow you are feeling, my mum had a cough, but nothing more. It was nothing, merely a little irritating. We booked holidays, trips to New York for her 70th, planned holidays for 2 years time. She was fit and well. Walking miles daily and never stopping. She was active. The cough was persistent tho and after a couple of weeks we eventually persuaded her to go get some anti biotics to clear it. We thought nothing of it. She went to the doctors on the Monday. On the Friday she was admitted to hospital as things had deteriorated. Yet she was still considerably well. Up about, walking talking. After 2 weeks they said getvover the weekend and you can go home. Saturday she was walking around the ward eating fish shop fish. Sunday she died. 3 weeks from first doctors appointment to death. A future snatched away in a blink of an eye. Not just her future but mine too because without her I am nothing. 

  • Hi Claire

    It's almost unbelievable how quick this disease can take somebody and unlike us if you haven't witnessed it it is all most unbelievable.my mam  had just turned 70 .apart from going off food the last few weeks she to was fine.you would never think she had a serious illness.my mam was my best friend.i saw her daily and phoned her twice a day.have you spoke to a professional about how you are feeling?I have been seeing a counselor and this has helped me greatly.i tend to not watch TV anymore since mam passed.its seems like every advert is for life insurance or cancer research.hugs to you x

    Nicola