Hi Sammyharry

You’ve been through a huge amount in such a short space of time it’s no surprise you’re up and down. 

Im 46 also and diagnosed with stomach cancer in August I’ve xompleted my first chemos and waiting for surgery, a small op next week and main one in January then more chemo in Feb/March.   I’m mostly ok living each day at a time. It whenever I have an appointment coming up I become much more emotional and anxious. I had a few breakdowns yesterday, I’ve come to accept that it’s ok not being ok all the time.

Do you have good support around you? Here to talk if you need to. I’ve found just talking about it with people who’ve had or are going treatment helps.

xx

Hi Mikeswife, 

Thank you for your reply.

I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis and assume that you’re at a similar stage to myself? 

It’s good to hear that all these feelings are normal and I will try and take each day at a time and just cry if I want to! 

I have a really supportive family who have been amazing  but just wanted to speak to someone who is actually going through this now as people can’t fully understand how you feel unless they have been through this themselves. 

How did you find the chemo? Good luck with your op which I’m sure will go fine! 

Xx

Hi Sammy,

I completely understand how you feel. I'm 31 and my journey has been ongoing for only 5 weeks now but I am booked in for a single mastectomy and full lymph node clearance on Wednesday. 

Like you, completely out of the blue and at the point where I just love my life, 2 children (youngest is 2 today, daughter is nearly 12). Absolutely devastating. I just think I still can't quite believe it....

Maybe it will seem more real on Wednesday when I'm one boob down I'm not sure. How did you find the operation? What complications did you have?

The feelings of been upset at different points is absolutely normal. I find myself really anxious with a pain in my chest when I have an appointment coming up. God knows what I'll be like come Tuesday. If you ever want to chat please feel free to drop me a message. 

I am starting chemotherapy in January also followed by radiotherapy. It's a long hard slog ahead but I'm sure we will do it!! Xx

Hi Lorna, 

Thank you for your email.. I’m so sorry to hear that you  are also going through this and are so young.  I know it is so devastating and surreal at times but we’ll both get through it! 

The operation went well and to be honest I was in more pain in week 2 but it’s better that the drains are out which should be after a week. 

I would just say make sure you take laxatives with codeine which you’ll need to start with, do your exercises and don’t panic if there’s more swelling in week 2-3 but still get checked out. 

It does feel weird at first but I’m getting used to it now. You also get many weird sensations in your arm as well which is normal, I have got cording now so am having one to one physio and still can’t lift my arm over my head  but hopefully will be able to soon!

You won’t know anything about the the operation until you wake up and they’ll look after you and give you morphine! 

Be strong but cry if you want to! Although it’s tough, I keep telling myself they are saving my life! Let me know how you get on and I hope your children are ok, that must be hard going but you need to do this for them too! 

I’m off to York next week for a quiet break before Xmas and chemo which I think will help emotionally. Take care. 

xxxxx

Hi Sammyharry,

Your story is so similar to mine, from the stage/grade/type down to the tough year (additionally I'd just handed in my notice at a well-paid job when I found my lump). The only difference is the order of our treatment as my cancer was already spreading so I had to have chemotherapy straight away and have only just had my mastectomy with axillary node dissection.  I start radiotherapy over in Southampton in (probably) January, it's somewhat dependent on the seroma I developed after the lymph node dissection actually going down.

There is no 'normal' that everyone adheres to, rather lots of different 'normals'.  I've probably been unusually upbeat throughout the whole experience; others I've known coped well at the time but fell into a depression after treatment had ended and they were cured; others still shut themselves off from the people around them the minute they were diagnosed.  It's such an individual thing having our sense of mortality challenged.

Don't worry about how you're reacting to it, cry if you need to cry.

Hopefully you'll stay on the forum and we'll be able to support you through it, I've found this place invaluable, hopefully you will too.

Best wishes,

LJx