Together we will beat cancer

Donate

Coronavirus and cancer

We know it’s a worrying time for people with cancer, we have information to help. If you have symptoms of cancer contact your doctor.

Read our information about coronavirus and cancer

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

27 Jan 2019 19:37 in response to KGay516

Hello

 

Firstly, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. No words can make this better for you 

This disease does not discriminate and is a monster. Your daughter sounds wonderful and no mother should go through watching their child die - I’m sorry.

It is still so recent and must be so hard for you - I know I’m a stranger but I am sending sympathy to you. 

 

I lost my my brother to cancer nearly 2 years ago, to watch him die was horrendous and to watch my mother lose her son was just as bad. I now have to watch my mother battle this cruel disease as she has stage 4 kidney cancer which has gone to her lungs and bones - life is so so so unfair. I’m losing my mum and my heart is breaking 

I hope we can help each other somehow through this awful time

 

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

29 Jan 2019 05:07 in response to Rebecca36

Rebecca, thank You for your kind words. It breaks my heart to hear of what you are going through now. And what you’re  Beautiful mother is suffering now. That disease is the devil reincarnate. There is no other way to explain it. The treatments are enough to kill anyone. And many go through that and don’t survive anyway just like my Caroline  and your beloved brother. Not only is life unfair it is often profoundly terrible. I sometimes have trouble finding the good compared to the bad. When I hear lovely people such as yourself I am encouraged. I will keep your family in my prayers and pray for the best.

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

29 Jan 2019 05:12 in response to Heyjude

 thank you so much for your words of encouragement. You are correct my daughter Caroline would not want me to be miserable and sad. I know she is in heaven with her father and her grandma and is happy and pain-free. I am the other hand have not had a second without pain since she left . The anxiety I feel when I think about not being able to see or touch or talk to her rest of my life is overwhelming. Just as I am sure it is for you when you think of your beautiful mom. I am so sorry that you lost her to that dreaded disease. It is one of the worst human suffering’s that exists. I appreciate your kindness and wish you well.

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

29 Jan 2019 05:31 in response to KGay516

Hey there, 

I read your post and just wanted to send you some warm hugs and love. I have daughters and cannot imagine how you feel but I hope you feel the warmth of my message. 

Xxxxxx

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

29 Jan 2019 15:32 in response to MiGi

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words Migu. My Caroline has been in heaven for one year, 14 days. I don’t miss her any less than before. I’ve don’t believe the hole in my heart will ever heal. I will just adapt to living with it. I have absolutely no choice other than ending my life which as a Christian I will not do. I ask people to love their families, mend their fences, and put people over work if possible. My husband was killed by a drunk driver 10 years ago age 51, and my Mom died from cancer also 6 months after Caroline last July 14th. You don’t realize how fast and frequent catastrophic event ms can occur. God bless you

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

31 Dec 2019 09:18 in response to KGay516

I have never posted on one of these sites before - it is 9 long years since my adored daughter died from cancer- sorry but the pain is palpable still

As a parents you feel the loss and guilt that you could not protect your child.

The way you stood and looked as some healthcare professionals being unkind and unprofessional- how you want to tell them.

The grief, the sorrow at not seeing them grow up, marry have kids etc is tortuous.

The way you become the person everyone pities - your  many friends become few.

I do not cope i carry on - try to keep busy, go to gym walk etc

Carry on you have no choice - talk to others who have an understanding

lots of hugs

 

 

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

31 Dec 2019 21:14 in response to Kayt0

 

Oh KaytO,

A very warm welcome to our forum. I can so empathise with all that you have said about your beloved daughter. I lost my brother when he was only 28, newly married and, with all of his life ahead of him. That will be 40 years ago next year, yet the pain has never subsided.  My poor mother never recovered from the shock. She too has passed now.

Friends become few because they don't know what to say to you, the few that stay are your real friends, who are there for you no matter what.

We carry on because we have to. There are a number of people who have been in similar situations and, these are the people who have the understanding. Talking to them can help both of you to carry on. It may be nine years on, but I can still feel your pain and I offer my sincere sympathy for your tragic loss.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

1 Jan 2020 10:10 in response to Jolamine

Thanks for the reply

 

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

11 Feb 2020 22:06 in response to KGay516

My daughter passed away coming up 7 years ago  she had triple negative stage 4 breast cancer at the time we thought it was caught early so she would come through, unfortunately she didn't but she fought a good fight obviously I'm still devastated she was 31 and a mammy to a 5 year old, I was thrown in to motherhood again at 53 although she lives with her dad and he is also amazing looking after her she is know 12 and he says she has to live with me lol she is 12 thinking she is 20, anyway it's not easy to loose a child especially the only one you had

 

 

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

11 Feb 2020 22:43 in response to KGay516

 l am so, so, sorry to hear of your great loss, and know that l do not have enough words to comfort your pain entirely, but hopefully with all the others on this forum adding their thoughts and wishes it might be possible to help make it just a little more bearable

  As a survivor of bowel and liver cancer,l live every day with those l met on my journey that sadly did make it with me to my destination. l question why me and not them, some were much more deserving,younger,those with children, those that had more potential, the list goes on.It has taken me years to come to terms with this, or at least accept and move on.The one constant that has carried through was the determination to live every day l have left to its full, to somehow justify our joint battles and to carry them with me in my heart,mind and on my shoulder, they help me to be a better person.l hope the memory of your daughter will help you in the life you have in front of you

                                                                            David

 

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

2 Apr 2020 03:26 in response to gruntifen

Thank you so much for your kind and comforting words . With the global pandemic right now I am grateful my sweet Caroline is not here so very very sick as she was with this additional terror. I miss her desperately but know one day I will be with her again. God Bless You

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

2 Apr 2020 03:30 in response to jody01

I am so very sorry you lost your beautiful daughter. I don't understand in this day and age why we can't find a cure for that wicked evil cancer. Why oh why does it attack young people and children.?! It devastates us as parents. I am so thrilled that you have a grandchild from your daughter. My daughter was only 26 and didn't have a chance to have any. God Bless you!

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

17 Oct 2020 21:15 in response to KGay516

My daughter died at Christmas  2017of acute myloid leukaemia, she was 33 and a divorced mum of one boy.Every day still ask what if I had  made more of a fuss when they cancelled her hospital  appointments  until it was too late what if I had argued with doctors more.What if she could hear everything  that was said around her .What the hell is going to happen  to my grandson.Every day I feel no better, and want to join her .Sometimes  ican function but other days I am just in a big black hole

I can’t believe my daughter is gone forever.

17 Oct 2020 22:11 in response to Finleynan

Hello Finleynan, 

I am sorry to hear about your daughter - it must be so hard for you and I just wanted you to know we are all there for you. Try not to think that you could have done more - you have done absolutely everything you could for your daughter I am sure about that and I am sure she appreciated having such a wonderful mum. It does sound though like you could do with talking to someone about everything you have been through recently - perhaps your GP would be able to help?

Don't bottle everything up - talk to your doctor about how you have been feeling, that some days you can function but others you feel like you are in a deep black hole. Your doctor will be able to guide you I am sure and help you get through this intensely difficult time. 

If you feel things get too much and you want to talk to someone, don't hesitate to call Samaritans - you can ring them for free on 116 123. 

We're thinking of you during this emotional time - nothing is harder than losing a child at such a young age. You are not alone though, there are many on the forum who find themselves in a similar place and who are there to listen and to share their story with you.  

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator