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Husband 37 dying of cancer

12 Oct 2019 17:29

Don’t usually ever post in forums, so this is a first for me. We found out just over three months ago that my husband 37 had collateral cancer which had spread to his peritoneal. We initially were told that he had a chance to fight it with chemotherapy. But he has never even had the chance to start chemo. We now have only a few weeks to a month or so left. We have two small children whom have had to stay with relatives so we can spend as much of the time we have left together. Feel like I’m watching him fade before my eyes. It’s the most horrific thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m not even sure how I’m dealing with this, I expect it’s because I’m still in shock and it all still feels very surreal. He is being incredibly brave and together about the whole thing. I’m in awe of his strength and determination in the face of this while I feel like I’m falling apart. 

Husband 37 dying of cancer

12 Oct 2019 17:46 in response to TerrC14

Hi ...and welcome ...

Oh my I wish l had words , but this takes my breath away ...  it's crule enough when wer getting on in years, at least we've seen life .. but this , there's so many come on here going through what you are .. and your not alone ...  

All I can do is send you a vertual hug.... hope others come on to hold your hand ... we can't take it away but we can listen and give you somewhere to open your heart ...  Chrissie ❤ 

Husband 37 dying of cancer

12 Oct 2019 18:08 in response to Chriss

Thank you so much Chrissie, that means so much to me.

We’ve had time to talk about what he wants and I have the loose threads of a plan for myself and the children afterwards. But I’m not sure how things are going to be, I can’t quite imagine it 100% almost like it’s not really going to happen. So it’s all incredibly scary right now. I can’t quite get my head around the fact that he won’t be around physically any more even though I’m fully aware this will be the case. I’m alternating between grieving and then sitting talking with him like everything is normal. Obviously I can see that he is physically not ok, but it’s also become our new normal that his appearance has changed so much and living with palliative care. I’m worried that I’ve not actually accepted it. I have been having counselling but even that feels a bit surreal. 

Husband 37 dying of cancer

12 Oct 2019 18:33 in response to TerrC14

Hi ...

I think it's like wer out of body, as if it's happening, we see it, live it, but it's not us ...like thinking someone will wake us up and say it was just a dream / nightmare it wasn't real ... yet we know it is ...

My daughter in law's friend, lost her fight with cancer at 31 ... just a few months ago .. l met her before we were both diagnosed with cancer a few years back .she had two little ones 7 and 5 .... oh my she touched my heart with her bravery .. and know cancer sucks big time ...

I prepared my granddaughter  just before my grade 3 masectomy... as I really didn't think I'd come through .. she is my world, and I love her more then I thought was humanly possible ... l was lied to when I was 7 when my grandad died .. I never forgot that .. so I used gentle honesty with her .. if you want I can explain more if you want to private message me ... just click on my pic .. and I'll listen and do what I can to help you through ...

My niece lost her hubby 24 years ago, and there were 3 kids aged 12 to 7 .. and 2 babies ... I know what helped them through .. so it's up to you .. I know right now your standing strong, sort of ... but we all need someone who's been there, to chat to .. I'm here if ever you want a vent / cuss  or chat ...

Chrissie xx

Husband 37 dying of cancer

13 Oct 2019 12:31 in response to TerrC14

Hello sweetheart,

I have just seen your post, my heart is breaking for you.

What can I say ....   you are going through so many emotions.  I hope you are accessing all the love and support that is around you.  Treasure every moment you have.  Don't worry about falling apart,  it's your right to do so.  Your body and mind is experiencing so many different feelings its just too much.  I have felt I am going mad how my emotions and outlook has changed since my husband's diagnosis in June.

I am sending you both a great big hug,   hope you can feel it.  

Sometimes,  it's just good to share,  you keep on doing this sweetheart,  as there are a lot of people out here who really do understand and genuinely care.     Lots of Love. Jellybeans x

Husband 37 dying of cancer

14 Oct 2019 14:12 in response to TerrC14

I know exactly how you are feeling, after years of battling Prostate, Bone,Spinal and now extensive brain mets my husband was given 12 weeks to live on June 6th but you know he is still here, the body and mind can really be a strong thing, your husband sounds just like mine and says he will keep battling , when he was diagnosed 9 years ago he was given 2 years to live!!! make the most of every second you never know you may have longer than you think...........