Hi there ...

So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... I cannot imagine how it must feel ..  all I can say as someone with cancer, if it were me, I'd not want to know ... why do you feel you must tell her ... if she's going down hill that fast now, it could really upset her ... as she's starting to forget now too ..  my sister's in late stage dementure, and we go along with how she feels and thinks .. she thinks our mum and dad are still here .. and they've been gone 30 years .. and her husband who went with cancer 10 years ago , she thinks is comming home to take her shopping .. we just say they are a little late and will be back soon ...

It is your decision in the end ... and only you can decide ... my heart goes out to you ... and I hope you follow your heart and come to the right thing to do ...  Chrissie x

Hi Sharp,

I'm so sorry that you're all going through this.  I've had a small glimpse of what this must be like through my wife's treatment when she was very poorly and my heart goes out to you.

My question is, do you think she would want to know this information?  Did she always seek her prognosis when she was feeling better?  I'm with Chriss that maybe she wouldn't want to know?  Or maybe wait and see if she asks.  Prognosises are only ever a best guess, my Auntie was recently told she had 3 weeks left and passed away the next day, yet I've heard of people given only a few weeks that go on for much longer.

You know your wife better than anyone and only you can know what would be best for her.  If you do want her to know, have you thought about asking the Doctor or nurse to tell her so that you can focus on supporting her through the news?

Thinking of you, keep posting here.

T

So sorry to read about the situation you and your wife are in.

Has her medical team already told your wife the news and she hasn't been able to remember, or are they unusually leaving this up to you? Frankly, the breaking of news to a patient should normally be the responsibility of the professionals providing their care unless there are very unusual circumstances preventing this.

I hope you find a way forward which works for your family.

Best wishes

Dave

Nobody has told her yet. At QE My wife  was sent out . 

I'm so sorry your going through this my sister has recently gone back on chemo and it's just prolonging her life I think the best thing you can do is break it to her gently or save her the heartache and not tell her at all if she hasn't asked I know that sounds harsh but if she hasn't asked it's not hurting her not knowing. I think this is the hardest thing with cancer it takes our beloved ones in such a cruel way X