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How to tell my mum to back off a bit?

18 Oct 2019 09:41

My Dad has been diagnosed with bowel cancer and is having an operation in 10 days time.  My mum answers for him at every opportunity.  Simple things - he wanted some long sleeved t-shirts for after the operation and she said that he has never liked those, so doens't want them; he said that he is tired and has lost a bit of weight, and she will make a huff or sigh.  I know that this is extremely difficult for us all, but I want my Dad to be able to express his feelings as he is the most important person in this and I don't know how to tell my mum to back off a bit.  I want to send her a text as she won't listen to me if I talk to her and just says, this is how she needs to cope by being positive.

How to tell my mum to back off a bit?

18 Oct 2019 10:04 in response to MyDad1938

Hi there ..

Oh dear, think we all know those people in life that answer for someone .. like Hyacinth bouquet in "keeping up appearances" and her poor hubby was just a "go along with it" hubby ..  

I've found in life you just need to not let them take over and just say, " well dad, what do you think" or what do you want ... she won't like it but stick to your guns ..they only get away with this behaviour if we let them ..... and then  wink at your dad so he knows he's got someone who's listening ... good luck ... Chrissie xx

How to tell my mum to back off a bit?

18 Oct 2019 11:16 in response to Chriss

Thanks Chrissie.  She definitely means well, but she thinks she knows what he wants x

How to tell my mum to back off a bit?

18 Oct 2019 11:21 in response to MyDad1938

Hi mydad Chriss has the right idea or go and buy him one yourself without telling her and put it on him hope things work out. Best wishes... Billy 

How to tell my mum to back off a bit?

18 Oct 2019 13:42 in response to Billygoat

Thanks Billy