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How do you feel?

13 Jun 2018 16:56

Natural enough question I suppose, but don’t really know how to answer it truthfully. I want to say ‘ since diagnosis and operation to remove most of my bowel, with further treatment and 3 months chemo to come, I feel as though I have forever changed both mentally and physically.  I don’t ever think I will be the man I was pre-cancer.’  But I don’t, I say, ‘ oh not so bad thanks’  inwards I don’t know what prognosis I have, I haven’t the enthusiasm to look after my garden or install a new patio, or change my car. I think ‘what’s the point’.  In truth I don’t really know how to deal with all this. However much time I have left I don’t think I should just be wasting it, but I feel tired, can’t lift very much and rely on others at the moment to cut the grass etc.

I also feel guilty. I was a widower and remarried this past January to a lovely lady. Now she’s faced with watching me go through chemo, helping me out, and instead of us living out our twilight years gracefully, Our horizons have been severely curtailed.

Anyway, rant over, now where’s my medicines!   Sorry folks.

Re: How do you feel?

13 Jun 2018 22:35 in response to DaveCee

Hi Dave ...

there's no right or wrong way way to cope with cancer ... we all go through this journey of ours differently ... emotions can be all over the place ... so be kind to your self and know, we know how you feel ... that's the great thing about this chat room .. we can cry, rant, say things that we find amusing .. ask questions and anything goes ... we really do get it ...

So let your self have these feelings... then get back in the ring and take cancer on ... wer all there with you ... we all have one thing in common ... kicking cancers bum ... we may not always win but it's doing the best we can along the way ... while letting ourselfs have a rant too .. Chrissie x

 

Re: How do you feel?

14 Jun 2018 00:48 in response to DaveCee

Hi Dave.

I think we all do the "not to bad" answer when some days we feel like ****. When I had really bad days during treatment I told me husband sorry love it's an awful day today. So he would be more in touch with how I was going to be.

As for not being the same person yes you are it's just circumstances have changed your attitude and outlook but not the core person you are.

Being tired is only to be expected you have been and are going through a lot so cut yourself some slack.

planning ahead can become difficult . I used to plan smaller things, meeting friends, going out etc. Holidays were put on hold but then I started looking at were I wanted to go after treatment finished So looking ahead can be done.

Don't feel guilty no one can predicted the future, talk to your wife tell her how you feel.

Re: How do you feel?

14 Jun 2018 09:05 in response to Chriss

Thanks Chriss, it’s really good of you to reply. Thanks for your kind words.  Best wishes to you x

Re: How do you feel?

14 Jun 2018 09:08 in response to river56

Thanks River.  I’m sorry you are or have been through all this stuff.  Thanks for acknowledging my rant and for your reply.  Good luck to you.  David xx