Hi, 

My name's Hilda. My father in-law recently got diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer which has spread throughout his body. He was diagnosed in May. We were all shocked by the news as his only complaint had been back pain. Before the diagnosis my partner had been suffering with depression and addiction to online gaming. My sister in law is also suffering from severe depression, that lead to her being hospitalized over Christmas 2016. My partner and his sister are both on the autism spectrum (Asperger's syndrome) which makes communication difficult for them.

We had been taking positive steps in the right direction to help with their depression and addiction before we received the diagnosis. Since the diagnosis, it's been difficult to for both of them to continue with their treatment (though not impossible) as they want to be home with their father as much as possible.

When we found out about the cancer, we were all stunned. Within days of diagnosis, we had been told he would pass away in weeks, then years and then back to weeks. It's extremely frustrating to watch the people you love be treated so badly by the health system that is there to help. Sometimes I feel that if we had a time frame, it would help us adjust because currently we are living in limbo, never knowing if this may be our last day with him. 

I love my father in-law and would do anything for him but I worry about my partner and his sister. They have already begun to retreat within themselves and I worry that once their father passed away, they will become depressed and a danger to themselves.

My own mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, so I've been in this situation before. However it's different when you are the one looking in. 

Communication is extremely difficult for my husband and he has always struggled to open up emotionally. He has always hated therapist and has never found it helpful in his recovery.

I am looking for an advice on how to help my family through this. If anyone knows how to help someone who finds communicating extremely difficult, it would be welcome advice.

I feel as if we were fighting an uphill battle before May and now we are trying to continue the fight but now we are being weighed down by rocks and are trying to walk through quick sand. 

I refuse to stop fighting for my family and I know that we will make it through this.

If anyone has any advice on how to help in any way, I would greatly appreciate it. Apologise for the length of this post, once I let it out, it was difficult to stop. 

Thank you in advance