I have come here because I do not know where else to go :( sorry about the long post!
At the end of November my mum was rushed to hospital, they found a brain tumour which they assumed was secondary cancer. She had brain surgery to debulk and confirm that it was linked to the tumour in her lung on the 12th December. We have still not had all of the results back from the brain surgery but are hoping to get these tomorrow from the specialist unit in Plymouth. They will treat the brain first as this is the tumour that is causing the most problems.
The diagnosis so far is Non-small cell carcinoma lung. Adenocarcinoma TTF-1 positive (molecular tests not yet requested).
My mum was the primary carer for my nan (91 year old living in the same house with my mum). Myself and my sister were raised by our mum and nan. Nan ended up in hospital on Friday with the flu and pneumonia. She has been having TIA’s for the last year and has been in and out of hospital/care over the last 12 months. She does not understand that she needs to rest and has a tendency to run herself down. She WILL NOT go into a home as she wants to stay in the family home (small 2 bed flat). My uncle has not helped one little bit. I asked if he could look after nana before Christmas as she would not go into the respite arranged but he did not want to change any of his Christmas plans and suggested that my mum should go into a hospice (my mum pays the mortgage and my nan pays bills). He thinks the house is nana’s and to be honest I think he is thinking of his inheritance (there isn’t any, he is welcome to take the debt).
I have tried to ask the hospital about respite for nana as mum is in no way able to do the things she used to. They are not being very helpful as only listening to my nan’s need to go home.
Who can help with this situation? I am the only one who can drive now my mum is unfit too and I am not sure I will be able to care from both my nan and my mum as well as keep a full time job (who are being amazingly flexible). If I can find a nice home for nana she would not be taken there and left, we could bring her out at weekends and make sure it is close to the house. I am extremely worried about my mum and do not have a clue how the treatment she will have will affect her?
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Is there someone who can explain the situation to my nan? I was passed to SPOA team however, as I and live an hour away from the hospital I cannot always go in and talk to them and over the phone they just want to get nana back to my mums house.
I have also tried social workers but as nana is in hospital they will not take any responsibility until she has been discharged.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? I just don’t know what to do? My sister is being supportive to me but lives in ~Bristol and does not drive plus has to keep a high stress/non flexible job going to maintain her own life.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know your thoughts and any ideas or suggestions. I really am at the end of my tether.
